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5 min readThe 20 biggest mistakes people make in their 20s
When host Jemma Sbeg asked thousands of people—from those still in their twenties to people in their seventies and eighties—to name the biggest mistake they made during this decade, over 5,000 responses poured in. Inspired by the 2012 publication The Five Regrets of the Dying, Sbeg wanted to create a decade-specific version of that wisdom. What emerged was a list of twenty common regrets, organized into clusters around love, money, relationships with others, health, career, and self-knowledge.
The romance trap: prioritizing love above everything else
The single most common mistake people reported was prioritizing a romantic relationship over friends, career, and personal growth. Sbeg heard variations on this theme constantly: someone who left a job they loved for a partner who dumped them five days later; people who lost friends because they never made time for them while coupled up; individuals so focused on finding love at 21 or 22 that they never learned what they actually wanted from life. Sbeg shares her own experience of a dating detox in her early twenties—six months without dating apps or thinking about men—during which her career took off, she made more friends than ever, and she fell in love with herself. She now sees her current relationship as a separate universe she can step into alongside a life she bu
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What you'll learn
- 1 (02:54) **Episode Introduction & The Inspiration Behind the List** - Gemma introduces the episode as a special list episode, explaining the personal research project that led to the 20 most common mistakes people make in their 20s.
- 2 (12:12) **Mistake #1: Prioritizing a Romantic Relationship Over Everything Else** - The most common regret was centering one's life around a romantic partner at the expense of friends, career, and personal growth.
- 3 (15:47) **Mistake #2: Staying in a Relationship That Wasn't Right** - The second most common regret was holding onto a relationship long after knowing it was a mismatch.
- 4 (18:30) **The Three Biggest Financial Mistakes** - A cluster of money-related regrets emerged as a major theme, with three specific errors being the most common.
- 5 (22:48) **Mistakes Related to People-Pleasing and External Validation** - Three interconnected regrets involve letting others' opinions and needs dictate one's life.
- 6 (26:14) **Mistake #9: Not Keeping Up with Old Friends** - A deeply personal regret for the host, losing touch with important friends is framed as losing a piece of your own history.
- 7 (28:36) **Mistake #10: Smoking (and Vaping)** - The most significant health-related regret was starting to smoke or vape, with one listener's story being particularly impactful.
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Guests on this episode
Show Notes
Over the past 6 months I've been asking people: what is the biggest mistake you made in your 20s? I've heard from over 5'000 people, some of them 21, some of them 80 and I have combined all their responses to make the ultimate list of the 20 biggest mistakes people make in their 20s, for the people, by the people.
From love, to career, to finances, going to college, friendship, taking risks: today we talk through the most common responses we received and what we can learn from these moments and regrets. Listen now!
Watch on Netflix: HERE
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