Death, Dying, and Dignity with Courtnee Stagner!

October 2, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Courtney Stagner, a hospice and palliative care nurse practitioner in Mobile, Alabama, spent years in the ICU before moving to palliative care. She describes the shift as necessary: she was starting to lose empathy, treating patients like machines to keep alive until her shift ended. Now she works as a consultant, called in when families need help understanding what is actually happening to their loved one. Her core insight is that most medical professionals are terrible at telling families the truth, and that failure causes immense, avoidable suffering.

Why "He's Not Doing Well" Is a Lie

Stagner is blunt about the language problem in medicine. Clinicians routinely tell families a patient is "not doing well" or "deteriorating" when they should be saying "he's dying." She makes residents use the D-word. "If you're not in the know, you don't know," she says. "Deteriorating" sounds like a temporary setback. "Dying" forces a decision.

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What you'll learn

1 (00:00) **Introduction and Guest Background** - Host and Courtnee Stagner introduce themselves and her professional background.
2 (04:14) **Role of a Palliative Care APP** - Courtnee describes her daily work taking consults for goals of care, code status, and complex discussions.
3 (07:10) **The Art of Breaking Bad News** - Practical techniques for communicating devastating prognoses to families.
4 (10:19) **Reframing Decisions Back to the Patient** - A key framework for helping families make values-aligned choices.
5 (13:06) **The Whack-a-Mole and "Doing To" vs. "Doing For"** - Vivid metaphors for futile care and the harm of aggressive treatment.
6 (15:56) **Using the "D-Word": Being Direct About Dying** - The importance of saying "dying" and "dead" to avoid confusion.
7 (19:39) **Dying as a Process and the "Hospital as Life Support"** - Explaining that dying is a gradual process, not a sudden event.

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

Former ICU nurse and palliative care APP Courtnee Stagner shares the words clinicians can use to help families face what’s happening, understand their options, and make decisions grounded in what the patient would want. An honest, practical conversation about ICU care, palliative care, and saying the hard things with compassion.