The Mel Robbins Podcast
The Mel Robbins Podcast

The Manipulation Expert: 4 Hidden Signs You’re Dealing With a Toxic Person

July 20, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

The Manipulation Expert: How to Spot Hidden Manipulators & Take Your Power Back

Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, a forensic psychologist and director of the Truth and Trust Lab at the University of British Columbia, has spent two decades studying dark personalities, chronic liars, and manipulators. Her central finding: about 10% of the general population scores high on dark personality traits—but that one person in ten can cause 90% of the stress in your life. The good news, she says, is that nine out of ten people are honest, kind, and helpful. The challenge is learning to spot the malevolent few before they do real damage.

The Dark Tetrad: Four Overlapping Personality Styles

Dark personalities share a core of three traits: callousness (you don't care how your behavior affects others), manipulativeness (you're willing to use people to get what you want), and hostility (you're consistently antagonistic). Within this framework, researchers identify four overlapping types, known as the dark tetrad.

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (00:08) **Introduction: Defining "Poisonous People"** - Mel introduces the topic of dark personalities and Dr. Leanne Ten Brinke, a forensic psychology professor.
  • 2 (04:03) **What Will Change If You Apply This?** - Dr. Ten Brinke explains that applying these tools reduces one of the biggest stressors in life: dealing with callous, manipulative people.
  • 3 (07:04) **Defining the Core Traits: Callous, Manipulative, Hostile** - The core of a "poisonous person" is a consistent pattern of callousness, manipulativeness, and hostility.
  • 4 (10:55) **The Four Dark Personalities (The "Dark Tetrad")** - Dr. Ten Brinke introduces the four overlapping dark personality types: psychopathy, narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sadism.
  • 5 (15:15) **Psychopathy: The Mask of Sanity** - Psychopathy is a constellation of traits: callous, manipulative, antisocial, and impulsive.
  • 6 (22:45) **Machiavellianism: The Strategic Manipulator** - Machiavellianism is a desire for status and control, paired with an amoral approach to manipulation.
  • 7 (31:00) **Temporary Bad Behavior vs. True Dark Traits** - The key difference is consistency. A dark personality is a consistent pattern across time and contexts, while a stressed person deviates from their normal pattern.

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Show Notes

In today’s episode, you’ll learn the hidden signs of a manipulative, toxic person from the #1 researcher in the world on dark personalities, Dr. Leanne ten Brinke, PhD. 

She is here to teach you how to spot the poisonous people that are hidden in plain sight around you – in your family, your community, and at work. 

And, she’s giving you the science-backed guide to understand poisonous people: how they operate, how to spot the patterns early, and what to do when you realize you’re dealing with one. 

Dr. ten Brinke is a professor at the University of British Columbia, where she directs the Truth and Trust Lab and has spent nearly two decades studying trust, deception, manipulation, and dark personality traits. 

She wants to make one thing perfectly clear: most people are good. 

But one poisonous person can create an enormous amount of stress, confusion, and pain. 

This episode will help you recognize the pattern, trust what you’re seeing, neutralize their behavior, and know exactly what to do when you’re around them. 

In this episode, you’ll learn:

-How to spot dark personality traits of narcissism, psychopathy, Machiavellianism, and sadism in daily life

-The #1 sign you’re being manipulated

-What gaslighting is, what it is not, and what to do when you’re being gaslit

-Why many toxic people seem charming at first

-How gossip can reveal a manipulative personality at work

-The simple ways to become more strategic instead of more emotional when dealing with difficult people

After listening, you will know exactly what to do to spot toxic behavior, handle manipulative people, and take back your peace and power. 

For more resources related to today’s episode, click here for the podcast episode page.   

If you liked the episode, check out this one next: 4 Signs of Emotionally Immature Parents & How to Heal

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