Fathers Lose Testosterone When They Raise Their Kids | Aldrich Chan, Psy.D.
September 15, 2026
AI Summary
5 min readThe Brain's Default Mode and the Price of Separation
About 46.9 percent of our waking hours, our minds wander unintentionally. That statistic from a 2010 study by Killingsworth and Gilbert points to something deeper, according to neuropsychologist Dr. Aldrich Chan: the human brain is wired for separation from the immediate present. This capacity—which he calls the MOTS network (mental time travel, others, and the self)—allows us to simulate futures, recall pasts, and reflect on ourselves. But it also creates a chronic sense of disconnection from nature, from our bodies, and from each other.
The SAD Theory: Separation, Alienation, Discord
Chan has developed an original framework called the SAD theory to explain how human cognition creates suffering. The first phase, separation, describes how the brain's default mode network (DMN) and central executive network allow us to suspend the immediacy of space and time. The DMN enables mind-wandering, self-reflection, and social cognition. The central executive network handles goal-directed activity and analysis. Together, they gave humans symbolic thought—evident in cave paintings from 64,000 years ago—but also created the experience of being separate from nature.
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What you'll learn
- 1 (01:38) **Introducing Dr. Aldrich Chan** - A neuropsychologist who assesses brain functioning by combining research (brain scanners) with clinical testing (paper-and-pencil memory/attention tests).
- 2 (05:56) **The SAD Theory: Separation, Alienation, Discord** - An original framework for understanding human suffering rooted in neuropsychology and evolutionary mismatch.
- 3 (10:31) **Why Dr. Chan Created the SAD Theory** - Three reasons: his patients, the birth of his son, and a need to reframe conditions like ADHD.
- 4 (14:58) **Defining "Nature" and the Separation Phase** - Nature is not "out there"; humans are a continuous part of the natural world.
- 5 (19:51) **Alienation and Evolutionary Mismatch Theory** - The core of the "A" in SAD, explaining how modern environments create quantifiable difficulties.
- 6 (25:45) **Discord: The Mind-Body War** - The final phase, driven by the false belief that mind and body are separate.
- 7 (30:31) **Biological Drives and Parenting** - A discussion on love as a primary emotional system and the biological changes in fathers.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
Most people assume becoming a parent is an emotional change, but a measurable part of it is hormonal, and it happens in fathers too. I sat down with Aldrich Chan, Psy.D., to talk about what changes in the brain, why the split we draw between mind and body does not hold up, and what decides whether stress reads as manageable or overwhelming when the hormones are identical either way.
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