The Fifth Hour: White Whale

The Dallas Cowboys' owner Jerry Jones once said something so bizarre that radio host Ben Maller has spent years trying to find the audio: Jones allegedly said "circumcising a mosquito." Maller calls it the "white whale" of his audio drop collection—a legendary sound bite that vanished from the internet and has never been recaptured.

The Quest for the Circumcised Mosquito

Maller has been collecting Jerry Jones drops for decades, building what he considers a catalog that rivals the Beatles' song library. Among the hits: Jones saying he was "lower than a crippled cricket's ass," that he was "looking up on my back and all I see is ass," and that he'd been "thinking about it in the shower." But the crown jewel is the mosquito quote, which Jones reportedly uttered in September 2016 during a radio appearance on a Dallas sports station while discussing Tony Romo's roster status.

A listener named Quang, who claims to be listening from Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam, took up the cause as part of Maller's informal "Maller Bureau of Investigations." Quang identified the exact date, the radio station, and the subject matter of the original broadcast. He then tracked down the email of the station's boss and formally requested the archived audio. The station responded politely but declined. Quang later apologized to Maller for coming up empty.