A Real-Life Claw Machine

The NBA spent over a year investigating whether LA Clippers owner Steve Ballmer secretly funneled money through a now-defunct company called Aspiration to pay Kawhi Leonard a $28 million "no-show" endorsement deal — a mechanism that would have circumvented the league's salary cap. According to a report from ESPN, the league found no evidence of foul play. The NBA then issued a statement calling the ESPN report "numerous and significant inaccuracies," though it declined to name a single one.

Ben Maller is not buying it.

The Trap Door Nobody Wants to Open

Maller's central argument is that the NBA's investigation was never designed to find anything. He compares the league's two-person investigative team to Helen Keller and Sergeant Schultz — characters famous for seeing, hearing, and knowing nothing. "You cannot find something if you've already decided you don't want to find it," he says.