The NFL Schedule Release Is a Glorified Grocery List

The NFL has turned basic math into a national holiday. A countdown clock, live TV specials, two-hour pregame shows—all for a calendar. As Ben Maller puts it, the league is "televising the equivalent of a coin toss rehearsal." The matchups themselves have been known for months. The only mystery is the order, and even that "feels rigged for Sweeps Week."

The Manufactured Excitement of Schedule Release Day

Maller is unsparing in his assessment of the annual NFL schedule release. He calls it "the peak of the dog and pony show," a manufactured event designed to fill the dead zone between the draft and training camp. The league has successfully turned what is essentially a grocery list into a national holiday. "People are acting like knowing week nine with a Thursday night game suddenly changes the axis of the entire season," he says. "It's not news. It's a manifesto of nothing."

The analysis that follows the release is "pure noise." Strength of schedule debates are laughable because injuries and random variance make a mockery of any preseason prediction. "By mid-November, a quarterback gets hurt, he has issues with some woman, he starts falling apart," Maller notes. The matchups you worried about in May look completely different in December.