AI Summary
5 min read"I Made a Promise to Trig": Emilie Kiser on Losing Her Son and Learning to Coexist With Grief
In May 2023, Emilie Kiser was five weeks postpartum when she went out for a rare girls' night. Ten minutes after arriving, her husband called to say their two-year-old son Trig had fallen in the pool and wasn't breathing. He died a week later. "There is no way to describe to someone what it's like losing a child," she tells Jay Shetty. "We did not think we would make it through that."
The Myth of Grief Stages
Kiser learned early on that the popular framework of grief stages was not designed for her situation. A doctor at a grief care farm for parents who have lost children explained it plainly: the stages of grief were created for elderly people at the end of life, not for parents who have lost a child. "There are no stages," Kiser says. "It is never ending. You could be in one stage at some point and then at the next point, you're in the complete opposite stage."
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What you'll learn
- 1 (02:09) **Emilie's Opening Account of the Loss** - Emilie describes the phone call from her husband that their son Trig had fallen in the pool and wasn't breathing, and his passing a week later.
- 2 (03:32) **Emilie's Current State & Motivation to Share** - She explains her current daily life focusing on her younger son Teddy and the importance of small intentions.
- 3 (05:14) **Life Before the Loss: Starting Social Media** - Emilie discusses starting her online presence in 2021 as an outlet for connection and personal fulfillment during early motherhood.
- 4 (06:52) **Shift in Perspective on Public Life and Boundaries** - The loss has fundamentally changed her boundaries, leading her to stop sharing images of her son Trig and becoming more protective of her family's privacy.
- 5 (09:42) **The Immediate Aftermath: Fight or Flight and Self-Blame** - Emilie describes the minute-by-minute existence and the overwhelming spiral of "what if" and "where did we go wrong" thoughts.
- 6 (11:58) **The Unseen Weight of Grief** - The hardest part is the actual, indescribable heartbreak and the realization that you cannot prepare for how you will react.
- 7 (14:48) **The Public Frenzy and Media Intrusion** - Emilie explains how the news broke via media cars and online speculation while she was still in the hospital, completely focused on Trig.
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Guests on this episode
Show Notes
Emilie Kiser sits down with Jay for her first in depth conversation about the loss of her son, Trigg, and what life has looked like in the months after. Emilie speaks candidly about grief, guilt, marriage, motherhood, and the pressure of navigating tragedy while also living publicly online. Instead of trying to offer perfect answers, this episode focuses on the reality of surviving something life-altering one moment at a time.
The conversation also shines a light on the importance of pool safety, prevention, and the measures that can help protect families from unimaginable loss. Emilie opens up about therapy, boundaries, support systems, and the reality that grief doesn’t disappear, it becomes something you learn to carry. It’s a deeply honest conversation about love, accountability, healing, and finding a way to keep living after life changes forever.
In this episode you'll learn:
How to Live Alongside Grief
How to Support Someone After Loss
How to Set Boundaries Online
How to Grieve Together as a Couple
How to Protect Your Children Better
How to Heal One Day at a Time
How to Show Up for Your Family in Pain
Healing doesn’t mean forgetting. Strength doesn’t mean pretending you’re okay. It simply means continuing to love, continuing to show up, and continuing to hope even when life feels different than before.
With Love and Gratitude,
Jay Shetty
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What We Discuss:
00:00 Intro
02:51 Life Before Everything Changed
05:30 Losing a Beloved Son
07:21 Searching for Answers After Tragedy
09:41 The Unimaginable Pain of Losing a Child
12:35 Navigating Grief in the Public Eye
14:17 Accepting There May Never Be Answers
15:43 Facing Judgment Online
18:08 What Grief Teaches You About Life
21:45 Learning to Live With Grief
23:51 Dealing With Public Assumptions
28:18 Living With Regret and Raising Awareness
30:33 Why It All Felt So Cruel
32:07 How Do You Heal After Child Loss?
36:00 Surviving Grief Day by Day
38:06 Returning to Work While Grieving
41:01 The Promise That Kept Her Going
44:52 Learning to Forgive Your Partner
49:55 Living With the Void of Loss
51:14 Keeping Trigg’s Memory Alive
53:16 What is The Most Helpfu
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