AI Summary
5 min readStop Trying to Be Right. Start Trying to Be PERSUASIVE
The central question of this masterclass episode is deceptively simple: when you're in conflict with someone, do you want to be right, or do you want to be persuasive? The answer, according to the experts featured, determines everything about how you should approach difficult conversations—and most people choose the wrong one.
The Humanization Problem
Dr. Ashley Kennard, assistant professor of communication at Ohio Wesleyan University, opens the episode by naming the core obstacle: we systematically dehumanize the people we're in conflict with. This isn't a conscious choice. It's a cognitive shortcut rooted in how our brains categorize the world into in-groups and out-groups. "We have this propensity as human beings to think of others as members of our outgroup," Kennard explains. "If you don't look like me, if you don't think like me, if you don't believe the things that I believe, then you must be an other."
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What you'll learn
- 1 (01:22) **Guest Introduction: Dr. Ashley Kennard** - Assistant professor of communication at Ohio Wesleyan University, board member of We Rise, and former sales rep, bringing a unique lens to conflict and negotiation.
- 2 (02:42) **The Core Problem: Why We Dehumanize the Other Side** - Explores the psychological roots of dehumanization in conflict.
- 3 (07:26) **The Effort of Humanization** - Overcoming the natural tendency to dehumanize requires significant cognitive effort and intentionality.
- 4 (08:10) **The "Why Should I?" Question** - Addressing the fairness of being the one to humanize when the other side doesn't.
- 5 (12:15) **Practical Tool: The "Safe Word" Pause** - Dr. Kennard shares a personal anecdote from hiking the Appalachian Trail.
- 6 (14:45) **Every Interaction is Intercultural** - Redefining "culture" beyond nationality to include all personal experiences and subcultures.
- 7 (22:10) **The Meta-Conversation: Talking About How We Talk** - A key technique for when the other person is not recognizing the intercultural nature of the conflict.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Guests on this episode
Show Notes
If you think you’re logical in conflict, think again—your brain is quietly sabotaging you.
In this masterclass episode, we unpack the hidden psychology of bias and how it shapes every difficult conversation you have—at work, at home, and across cultural lines. From in-group vs. out-group dynamics to microaggressions, emotional triggers, and the fight-or-flight response, you’ll learn why disagreements escalate so quickly—and how to interrupt the pattern in real time.
This conversation goes beyond theory. You’ll discover practical tools to:
Humanize the person you disagree with (even when it feels impossible)
Respond to perceived bias without escalating the conflict
Shift from arguing about the past to negotiating the future
Slow down reactive “System 1” thinking and engage intentional reasoning
Use curiosity to disarm defensiveness
Talk about how you’re talking—so the conversation actually improves
You’ll also explore a powerful truth: every interaction is intercultural. What you see as “common sense” may simply be your conditioning—and recognizing that can change everything.
If you want to be more persuasive, more self-aware, and more effective in high-stakes conversations, this episode will challenge how you think—and show you exactly how to do better.
Because winning difficult conversations doesn’t start with changing the other person.
It starts with mastering yourself.
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