2972: The Lonely Chapter — Why Growing Up Feels So Isolating (And Why It Should)
October 22, 2026
AI Summary
5 min readThe Lonely Chapter: Why Growth Feels Isolating
Michael Smoke spent his early 20s obsessed with health, fitness, and longevity—listening to podcasts, studying nutrition science, and transforming his own body. He lost 60 pounds over ten months through intermittent fasting, calorie control, and strength training. But for years afterward, he had almost no one to share it with. His friends wanted to party; he wanted to train. His girlfriend's eyes glazed over when he talked about peptides or circadian rhythms. The only person who matched his enthusiasm was his best friend Will, who lived 900 miles away at Cornell. They developed a system: when one of them texted the acronym "NEAT" (non-exercise activity thermogenesis), it was a signal to call each other and walk while they talked. Those walks became the foundation of a friendship and a knowledge base that, seven years later, would become a social media platform of over three million followers.
Smoke calls this period "the lonely chapter," a phrase he borrowed from Chris Williamson. It lasted three or four years. He was between his old life and his new one, and the isolation was not incidental to his growth—it was a benchmark of it. "It should feel lonely," he says now. "It's a benchmark of your progression."
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:00) **Advertisements** - Hunter Douglas shades and Whole Foods Market Fall Savings.
- 2 (01:44) **Introducing Michael Smoke** - The hosts welcome Michael Smoke, a public speaker, podcaster, and former Mind Pump listener who built a massive following in a short time.
- 3 (03:16) **The "10-Year Overnight Success"** - Michael explains that his rapid online growth was preceded by years of private obsession with health and fitness.
- 4 (08:37) **The "Lonely Chapter"** - Michael describes the isolating experience of being a young man obsessed with self-improvement while his peers were focused on partying.
- 5 (10:34) **The Fire That Kept Burning** - Michael reveals what sustained his obsession for years before it became a career.
- 6 (13:01) **The Identity Crisis of Self-Improvement** - Michael discusses the social cost of changing his lifestyle and the unhealthy relationship with food that followed.
- 7 (20:12) **Two Practical Tips for a Healthy Relationship with Food** - Michael shares specific actions that helped him move past disordered eating.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Guests on this episode
Show Notes
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In this episode the guys sit down with Michael Smoak — public speaker, podcaster and host of the fastest growing podcast in wellness, The Higher Up Podcast — for a deeply personal and wide-ranging conversation. Michael shares the full origin story: being called overweight by his best friend at 20, losing 60 pounds in ten months listening to Mind Pump, spending seven years building a knowledge base in isolation before posting his first TikTok at 26, quitting his corporate sales job after one month when the promise he made himself came true, and building to three million followers across platforms. He also opens up about the five months caring for his father as he died from a portal vein blood clot with no treatment available, recording his father's voice on a lapel mic 60 days before he passed, delivering the eulogy at 27, how his dad's death became the catalyst for his faith, how the lonely chapter is a necessary part of any man's growth, and the Purpose Progression tour he is currently running. The guys also discuss the rise of young men turning to faith at unprecedented rates, how to evolve your friend group without a formal breakup, and what purpose actually looks like in practice.
GUEST LINKS
Michael Smoak: https://www.instagram.com/higherupwellness
The Higher Up Podcast: available on all major platforms
The Purpose Progression Tour: https://laylo.com/laylo-higheruptour/m/wpPOi3
LINKS
Mind Pump Store: https://mindpumpstore.com
Maps Fitness Products: https://mapsfitnessproducts.com
Instagram: @mindpumpmedia
0:00 - Intro
1:11 - Michael's origin — called overweight at 20, losing 60 pounds in ten months listening to Mind Pump
6:25 - Seven years building in isolation — from corporate sales to 3 million followers in three years
11:00 - The binge-restrict cycle, disordered eating and how he finally got out of it
15:55 - Floor goals vs ceiling goals — why minimum viable habits beat extreme protocols
20:32 - His first viral video and the fear of being perceived that almost stopped everything
26:42 - The elbow problem video and why hyperbolic content works on social media
29:00 - His father's diagnosis — the portal vein blood clot with no treatment and five months of caregiving
36:47 - Recording his father on a lapel mic 60
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