Why you should take a 'say no' retreat

October 20, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Caroline Silga, author of How to Retreat, has been retreating in various forms for over 30 years. She defines a retreat as simply stepping away from the stresses of day-to-day life so that, upon return, you can flourish. Crucially, she believes this doesn't require a far-flung spa or even a full weekend. A retreat can last as little as 20 minutes—she cites her own Vedic meditation practice as a daily retreat. The goal is to reclaim the practice for everyone, making it accessible regardless of time or budget.

Among the many themed retreats Silga outlines in her book, the one that anchors this episode is the "say no retreat." The core insight is that many people, particularly women, say yes to things out of obligation, fear of missing out, or a desire to be liked. This creates a draining loop where others learn to rely on you for everything, and you lose sight of your own priorities. Silga frames saying no as a brave act of self-respect that creates more time, energy, and space to say yes to what truly matters.

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What you'll learn

1 (00:13) **The Host’s Own Mini "Say No" Retreat** - Host Marielle Segarra shares a personal story about resisting the urge to start a home improvement project after traveling, demonstrating a small act of saying no to herself.
2 (00:58) **Redefining "Retreat" for Everyone** - Caroline explains that a retreat doesn't require a far-flung spa; it’s an accessible practice that can be as short as 20 minutes.
3 (03:04) **Why a "Say No" Retreat is the Host’s Favorite** - Caroline explains that learning to say no is a way to reclaim time, energy, and space, which are scarce resources in modern life.
4 (04:45) **The Spiral of Saying Yes and the Win-Win of No** - Caroline explains how chronic yes-saying creates a draining loop, while honest no-saying can inspire authenticity in others.
5 (08:05) **The Night Before: Prepare by Unplugging** - The "say no" retreat begins the night before by putting away all devices to create a nurturing, distraction-free shell for the day.
6 (09:10) **Morning Ritual: The Immediate "No" List** - On waking, stay in bed and jot down two or three things you immediately want to say no to, which provides an instant sense of relief.
7 (10:17) **Deepening the List: From the Week to the Year** - After a walk in nature, return to your retreat space, honor it with a small ritual, and expand your list by scanning your calendar for the coming weeks and months.

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Show Notes

If you often overextend yourself or struggle to uphold your boundaries, telling people "no" might not feel easy. But Caroline Sylge, author of the book, How to Retreat: A Guide to Stepping Away from the Everyday to Find Space for Your Self, says that learning to say "no" might just take some intentional practice. This episode, Sylge offers advice on saying "no." And she makes the case for a "say no" retreat — carving out a full day to practice telling people "no."

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