Tiny pep talks for everyday problems

In the middle of a pandemic, improv comedians Paula Skaggs and Josh Linden found themselves giving each other pep talks constantly—not for life-altering crises, but for the eighth trip to the post office that day. They realized that while there are plenty of speeches for getting married or going to Mars, nobody had written one for parallel parking or ordering delivery when you should cook. So they wrote a book called Tiny Pep Talks, and on this episode of NPR's Life Kit, they share a simple framework for giving encouragement that actually lands—whether you're talking to a friend or to yourself.

Four rules for a pep talk that works

Skaggs and Linden developed a four-part framework from writing dozens of tiny speeches. The first rule: be specific. General encouragement feels hollow; a good pep talk addresses the exact anxiety or excitement someone is feeling. If a friend is nervous about a presentation next week, mention that presentation by name and give a concrete reason they'll do well.

Second: pep talks aren't just for big things. The small moments—a nerve-wracking email, a bad day at work, a task you keep avoiding—are often where people need support most. Because these moments don't come with built-in cheerleaders, a targeted word can be as meaningful as support during a major life event.