If sex is painful, you have options

Sex should not hurt. That is the central message of this Life Kit episode, and pelvic floor physical therapist Janelle Frederick is emphatic about it: pain before, during, or after intercourse is "always a sign that there is something going on that needs more attention." The episode, hosted by reporter Andy Tagle, walks through why so many people suffer in silence, how to talk about it, what medical conditions might be at play, and what practical steps—from doctor visits to yoga poses—can actually help.

The conversation opens with a blunt reframe. Frederick notes that pop culture has taught us to expect sex to be effortless and perfect, but "you don't see sexual dysfunction normalized in society." As a result, millions of people live with pain out of shame or the mistaken belief that it is normal. "It's not one's fault," Frederick says. "This is a medical condition just like any other condition." The first takeaway is simply to stop suffering in silence: stinging, burning, aching, or cramping are your body's signals that something needs attention.

How to talk about it with a partner