Cultivating a Healthy Marriage with Tim Keller
Cultivating a Healthy Marriage with Tim Keller

Marriage as Completion: Gender Roles (Part 2)

August 13, 2024

AI Summary

5 min read

Tim Keller opens this sermon with a confession: he hates controversial subjects. But the passage from Ephesians 5, with its call for wives to submit to husbands, is one where he believes the Bible is clear. Rather than backing away, he argues that the real problem is not the text itself, but a misunderstanding of what "headship" means. Keller insists that the word "head" in Greek carries two intertwined meanings: source and authority. The husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church—not as a dictator, but as the source from which the wife was taken and the one who completes her.

Completion, Not Domination

Keller grounds his argument in Genesis. When God created humanity, he made them male and female, and together they reflect the image of God in a way that neither can alone. He uses a vivid analogy: a piece of aluminum foil reflects fitfully, a piece of glass reflects dimly, but when you back the glass with the foil, you get a perfect mirror. Male and female are like those two elements. Alone, each reflects God only partially; together, they show his full image.

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (00:44) **Introduction and Approach** - Keller introduces the controversial topic of gender roles in marriage, stating he will speak personally and from biblical conviction.
  • 2 (03:12) **Recap: "Head" Means Source and Completion** - Keller re-introduces the double meaning of "head" as both source and authority, focusing first on the idea of completion.
  • 3 (08:58) **The "Not Good" of Adam's Aloneness** - Keller argues Adam was created with a design deficit, needing Eve for completion before sin entered the world.
  • 4 (12:05) **The Result of Completion: Naked and Unashamed** - Keller describes the state of "personal ease" and lack of anxiety that comes from being completed.
  • 5 (13:54) **How Completion Works in Practice** - Keller explains the mechanism of completion through the lens of Carol Gilligan's research and personal examples.
  • 6 (17:14) **Personal Example: Competing Strengths** - Keller uses a personal example with his wife Kathy to show how their different approaches to emotions complete each other.
  • 7 (20:23) **The Ongoing Work of Completion** - Keller describes how spouses call each other on both over- and under-developed gender traits, pulling each other toward the image of God.

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Guests on this episode

Tim Keller

Show Notes

We’re looking at a subject that’s controversial. I’m going to try to speak as personally out of my own experience as I possibly can. Yet it’s still an area to think carefully.

In our series on marriage, we look for the second time at Ephesians 5:22: “Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church.” What does this mean? It means a whole lot. 

Let’s look at what this passage teaches about the head: 1) head means the husband and the wife complete one another, and 2) head means there is an authority structure inside marriage. 

This sermon was preached by Dr. Timothy Keller at Redeemer Presbyterian Church on September 29, 1991. Series: Marriage. Scripture: Ephesians 5:22-33.

To receive the devo offer in this episode of "The Meaning of Marriage: A Couple's Devotional," visit https://gospelinlife.com/devo

Today's podcast is brought to you by Gospel in Life, the site for all sermons, books, study guides and resources from Timothy Keller and Redeemer Presbyterian Church. If you've enjoyed listening to this podcast and would like to support the ongoing efforts of this ministry, you can do so by visiting https://gospelinlife.com/give and making a one-time or recurring donation.

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