ROLLUP: Bitcoin Breaks Below $60K | Saylor’s Three Bad Options | ETH Labs | The Quantum Clock

Bitcoin slipped below $60,000 this week, dragging Michael Saylor's Strategy (formerly MicroStrategy) and its preferred share product Stretch into a three-body problem that is compressing the executive's options. Meanwhile, the Ethereum Foundation cut 20 percent of its staff and announced a major restructuring, while a new independent nonprofit called ETH Labs spun up with former EF talent to push Ethereum toward commercial relevance. The White House signed an executive order accelerating the timeline for quantum-resistant cryptography to 2031 and committing to build a powerful quantum computer by 2028. And Illinois passed what the hosts call the worst crypto tax they have ever seen.

The Three-Body Problem at Strategy

Bitcoin is trading around $59,500, roughly 5 percent below its 200-week moving average. Strategy (MSTR) is down 84 percent from its peak, and Stretch — Strategy's preferred equity product designed to pay 11.5 percent annual dividends and trade at $100 — is now at $74. The company has $1.7 billion in annual dividend obligations on Stretch and roughly 9.8 months of cash coverage left.