You Choose with Billy Garton Jr.
You Choose with Billy Garton Jr.

#022 - Koa Smith - The 3 RULES for Living an Extraordinary Life

September 15, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Koa Smith: The Ocean, Brain Injury, and Learning to Trust the Unknown

Professional surfer Koa Smith was at the top of his game when a brain injury forced him to stop. He could not surf, could not walk normally, and found himself asking a question that would reshape his entire life: Who am I without surfing?

That question, and the slow process of answering it, became the foundation of Smith's philosophy — a set of principles for living that he now teaches through a community called Spaceship to Many. The core insight is deceptively simple: the feeling of pure presence and connection that Smith once found only in big wave surfing is available to anyone, anywhere, if they are willing to do the work of stripping away distractions and learning to listen.

The Brain Injury That Stripped Everything Away

Before the injury, Smith was a professional big wave surfer with a healthy ego. He needed to prove himself, to do more, to be more. His identity was fused with his sponsors, his performance, his reputation. Then came the concussion — and with it, the slow unraveling of everything he thought he was.

"I started to forget who I am," Smith says. "That concept of who you are and what makes you happy — it's in your mind. So it starts playing tricks on you."

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (00:00) **Opening: The Meaning of Life as Play** - Billy opens with a quote about taking seriously what the gods made for fun, and Koa agrees that life is a mystery no one has a flight map for.
  • 2 (01:51) **The Brain Injury: Losing Surfing and Finding Self** - Koa explains how a brain injury stripped away his identity as a professional surfer and forced him to question who he was without the sport.
  • 3 (04:39) **The Feeling of Pure Presence** - Koa articulates the feeling he previously only found in big waves: a state of no separation, no thoughts, just action and reaction where everything feels perfect.
  • 4 (07:49) **Confronting Fear of Death and the Unknown** - Koa shares his perspective on fear of death, learning from sharks that some things are out of your control, so you might as well surrender.
  • 5 (10:44) **The Ocean's Lessons: Commitment and Honest Reflection** - Koa explains that in big-wave surfing, committing 110% is the only way to succeed, and not trying feels worse than falling.
  • 6 (16:29) **Catalysts for Presence: Injury, Meditation, and Psychedelics** - Billy shares his own story of losing soccer to an ACL injury and the struggle to sit in the uncomfortable "waiting period" without reaching for the familiar past.
  • 7 (20:03) **Commitment to Truth and the Inner Voice** - Billy references Grayson Hall's idea that the most important way of being is a "commitment to truth," and Koa agrees that acceleration comes through the portal of truth.

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Guests on this episode

Billy Garton Jr.

Show Notes

This may be my favorite conversation we've had on the show so far. Koa Smith is a professional surfer who made a name for himself chasing the biggest and most beautiful waves on earth and capturing them on camera. His career and life was dramatically altered when a collision with a reef caused a traumatic brain injury. He lost his memory, sense of self and fell into a deep depression. This is a conversation on identity, on intimacy, and on integrity. It's about learning to feel again, dissolving the illusion of separate between you and another, but also between you and everything you desire. There aren't many people more equipped to talk about death, about discovering inner peace amidst chaos, and about learning how to find purpose in life again. We talk about 3 rules for life that were given to him by a shaman, 2 words that keep you from having what you desire, and 1 way of being (Hint: trying to figure it out) that keeps us in endless suffering. We also deep dive on the modalities that have changed his life, Transcendental Meditation, Psychedelics, Joe Dispenza...and the most important one, CHOICE. I am reminded that the tools are only as effective as we choose to be with the information that is revealed. That is why life is the ceremony, and the rest are just companions supporting our awareness. After awareness always comes choice, and we must CHOOSE differently if we wish to witness new and better circumstances for our life. Enjoy, and if you do, please subscribe to the show. The chances are, if not subscribed, you will miss future episodes that, I will assert, are life altering. I am grateful for all the love and support. Follow Koa: https://www.instagram.com/koasmith/?hl=enJoin Koa's Community "Spaceship to Many": https://www.skool.com/spaceshiptomany/about?utm_source=ig&utm_medium=social&utm_content=link_in_bioFollow Billy: https://www.instagram.com/billygartonjr/?hl=enFollow the Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/youchoosepodcast/?hl=enChapters0:00 Introduction1:51 Koa's Brain Injury2:11 Facing Identity Crisis without Surfing4:50 Surfing Can Be a Dangerous Addiction5:30 Being Raised by the Ocean7:20 A More Empowering Relationship to Life8:48 Koa's Relationship to Death13:13 Fear Is the Greatest Illusion17:16 Billy on Losing His Own Career18:15 Strip Away Every Vice21:25 Meditation Became His Secret Weapon22:19 The Thought That's Holding You Back24:37 Transcendental Meditation Opened His Eyes25:24 Healing Depression in One Experience28:03 Seven Days With Joe Dispenza30:02 Koa on Learning to Feel His Heart32:34 Fear Is in the Thought34:40 The Two Words That Keep You Separate35:48 The Moment He Felt He Belonged38:56 Humans Longing For More41:26 Crisis Is God's Whisper Getting Louder43:35 How to Hear Your Intuition45:05 Koa's Business, Spaceship to Many47:24 Nine Months Without Alcohol49:14 Billy on Faith, Money and This Show52:07 You Can't Engineer Belonging54:24 The Only Way to Experience True Belonging56:52 Koa on Not Fitting In1:01:59

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