Best of WTP – Depression, Suffering, and the Faithfulness of God's Presence
July 20, 2026
AI Summary
5 min readBrenna Blain was ten years old when her grandmother died of cancer, her parents separated, and a stranger molested her. She had no language to tell anyone about the abuse. By fourteen she was severely suicidal and wrestling with same-sex attraction in a conservative Baptist world. She spent years faking faith, planning to deconstruct once she got to college. But a missionary program in Maui changed the trajectory—not because she found a neat answer, but because she watched God speak directly to someone else in a way she could not explain away. She prayed, "God, if you're real, you can have all my life." Then she read through the New Testament to figure out who Jesus actually was.
The diagnosis that felt like a death sentence
After returning home, Blain began preaching at her old youth group, got engaged, and enrolled in theology school. She thought she was healed from her earlier mental health struggles. Then, without warning, she lost the ability to sleep and eat. Her thoughts became consumed with death. She begged God to heal her. The condition only worsened.
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:00) **Show Open & Host Banter** - Advertisements for Hilton and Crocs, followed by casual conversation between the hosts about moods, hunger, and hormones.
- 2 (02:17) **Introducing Brenda (BB)** - The hosts welcome guest Brenda Blaine, discuss her Instagram handle ("bun on bun on my head"), and her unique "packaging" as a solid theologian who doesn't fit the typical evangelical mold.
- 3 (04:25) **Brenda’s Tension: Deconstruction vs. Solid Theology** - Brenda explains how her upbringing allowed her freedom in self-expression (tattoos, style) while holding to conservative theological beliefs, causing others to misjudge her as "deconstructed."
- 4 (05:44) **The Power of Unlikely Packaging** - Hosts discuss how not looking like a typical Christian allows them to "move in rooms" and catch people off guard, similar to how Christ used unlikely people.
- 5 (10:55) **Brenda’s Origin Story: Suffering at Age 10** - Brenda introduces herself as a theologian wrestling with faith and suffering. She recounts her grandmother's death, her parents' separation, and being molested by a stranger, leading her to question if God was big enough for her problems.
- 6 (14:50) **The Double Life & Suicidal Ideation** - Brenda describes being severely suicidal by age 14 due to unshared abuse and same-sex attraction, leading her to fake Christianity until she could leave for college.
- 7 (16:38) **The Grace of a Youth Pastor** - A youth pastor responds to Brenda's "outing" with grace, telling her "a lot of Christians wrestle with same-sex attraction" and inviting her to stay, giving her permission to wrestle with her faith for the first time.
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Show Notes
TRIGGER WARNING: This episode discusses suicidal ideation.
With The Perrys is taking some time this summer to revisit popular episodes from years past.
Brenna Blain is a wife, mom, and theologian who talks honestly about faith, suffering, and mental health. Brenna shares her story of running from God, eventually finding herself in YWAM, and later navigating a bipolar diagnosis, psych ward stays, and some of the darkest days of her life. Brenna, Jackie, and Preston talk about depression, suffering, and what it looks like to love people well when there aren't easy answers.
Connect with Brenna:
https://www.instagram.com/bunonmyhead/
https://brenna-blain.vercel.app/
Order Brenna’s book, Can I Say That?: How Unsafe Questions Lead Us to the Real God – https://www.amazon.com/Can-Say-That-Unsafe-Questions/dp/1400339944
Listen to Brenna’s podcast, Can I Say That?
This Episode is Sponsored By:
https://gominno.com/ — Sign up online with code PERRY to get your first month FREE!
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With The Perrys is a podcast where biblical truth meets honest conversation. Join Preston Perry and Jackie Hill Perry as they discuss theology, relationships, parenting, culture, and the everyday realities of following Jesus. With humor, transparency, and a deep commitment to Scripture, each episode aims to point listeners back to Christ, deepen their understanding of God's Word, and encourage faithful obedience in every area of life.
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