Following Jesus Isn’t Always Up & to the Right | Sadie & Christian Huff | Matt & Lauren Chandler

"Blessed is the perfect believer" is not something Jesus ever said, and Matt Chandler wants Christians to stop acting like he did. In a conversation with Sadie and Christian Huff, Matt and his wife Lauren Chandler discuss his new book Becoming Like Jesus and the central idea that spiritual growth does not follow an upward, linear trajectory. Drawing on decades of marriage and ministry, they argue that the Christian life is more like a horizontal coil—every high and every low moves you forward, even when the low comes from your own mistakes.

The Seven-Year Turning Point

Matt and Lauren Chandler have been married for over 25 years, but the first seven were genuinely hard. Matt describes himself during that period as someone who was "killing it at work" while being icy and withdrawn at home. He was trying to fix Lauren, believing that if she would just do what he said, their marriage would improve. The turning point came when Lauren walked into the kitchen, hugged him while he was sulking, and said through tears, "I have no idea what's going on in you, Matt Chandler, but I love you and I'm not going anywhere." In that moment, Matt says, "the Lord went, 'It's you, dumb dumb.'" He went to counseling the next day.