AI Summary
5 min readTracee Ellis Ross was 13 years old when her mother, Diana Ross, moved the family to Paris for a film that never happened. That detour sent Ross to a Swiss boarding school called Le Rosey, where she learned French, made friends from all over the world, and became, in her words, “a child of the world, not an American.” Decades later, she still keeps in touch with Mohamed El Kareji, one of her closest friends from that time. The experience reshaped her sense of belonging — not to a country or an industry, but to herself.
The trap of waiting to be chosen
Ross spent eight years on the sitcom Girlfriends (173 episodes) and another eight on Black-ish. But for much of that time, she was terrified and anxious. She describes the feeling as “waiting to be chosen” — a posture she didn’t recognize until after the show ended. “I didn’t realize how much I had spent years waiting to be chosen,” she says. “I started to realize I’m like, what the f— I’m the chooser. I can choose my partner. I don’t have to sit around being a prize, making a life so that I get chosen.”
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:04) **Bikini Posts and the Burden of Being a Friend** - Trevor and Tracee joke about how Trevor knows when Tracee has posted a revealing photo on Instagram because his male friends immediately text him.
- 2 (06:51) **Heirloom Tomatoes and Economic Status** - A lighthearted conversation about farmer’s markets reveals Tracee’s humorous habit of judging her financial situation by where she shops.
- 3 (09:34) **A Global Childhood: Boarding School in Switzerland** - Tracee reveals she moved to Paris and attended a Swiss boarding school, which fundamentally shaped her worldview.
- 4 (21:31) **The Luxury of Normalcy and Old Friends** - Trevor observes that Tracee exudes a unique blend of extreme normalcy and inherited luxury, a combination he finds rare.
- 5 (25:36) **The Idris Elba Problem** - Trevor confesses that Tracee Ellis Ross and Idris Elba are the two people he hates being associated with in public due to the endless thirst messages he receives.
- 6 (32:40) **Fake News and Clickbait Culture** - Tracee discusses a bizarre, fake news story claiming she was looking for a sperm donor, which went viral.
- 7 (38:39) **Survival Lessons for the Famous** - Trevor warns Tracee that if she is ever in a car accident as a passenger, she should immediately walk away to avoid being sued.
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Guests on this episode
Show Notes
Tracee Ellis Ross has spent a lifetime forging an independent identity. She regales Trevor and Eugene with stories of growing up in the embrace of her iconic mother, Diana Ross, building her own beauty empire with Pattern and starring on Broadway. Together, the three candidly dissect the societal pressures women face to be "chosen," the racial biases of '90s television, and how to reclaim your agency in work and love.
Packed to the brim with lessons on life, love, and picking the perfect heirloom tomato, this episode is a masterclass in belonging to yourself.
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