AI Summary
5 min readI Was a School Shooter
On February 9, 2004, a 16-year-old boy walked into his upstate New York high school with a shotgun he'd gotten four days earlier. He fired two rounds into the ceiling, stood in a classroom doorway while students hid under desks, and was eventually disarmed by an assistant principal—but not before the gun went off during the struggle, wounding a teacher in the shin. The shooter spent 17 years in prison. Now in his late 30s, he speaks to law enforcement, school administrators, and mental health professionals about what led him to that moment and how to prevent others from following the same path.
The Pathway to Violence
The speaker traces his trajectory back to early childhood. His father left when he was four. Shortly after, he was groomed and sexually abused by someone who told him "this is what people in love do." The abuse ended when he was around seven, but he carried the shame for years—blaming himself, feeling inherently wrong, and becoming less likely to open up about anything. From the outside, he seemed fine: he played sports, had friends, got decent grades. But around 13 or 14, depression set in seriously. He describes being in a room full of friends with a girlfriend and feeling completely alone and empty.
Continue reading the full summary in the app — free to try.
Read Full Summary →Free • No credit card required
Never miss an episode of We're All Insane
Get every new episode summarized in your inbox — free, ~5 minutes to read.
No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.
What you'll learn
- 1 (00:00) **Introduction: A Unique and Difficult Perspective** - The guest introduces himself as someone who committed horrific acts, not as a victim, and explains his mission to share his story for prevention.
- 2 (05:27) **Childhood and the Roots of Isolation** - He describes his early life: his father left when he was four, and he was groomed and sexually abused around ages five to seven.
- 3 (08:03) **First Cry for Help and a Failed Response** - A year before the shooting, he told his mom “something’s wrong with me,” leading to a doctor visit, a prescription for antidepressants, and a therapy referral.
- 4 (12:26) **The School’s Betrayal During Hospitalization** - While in the psychiatric unit, his school refused to send his schoolwork, making him feel completely abandoned by the institution he was supposed to trust.
- 5 (14:00) **Therapy, Medication, and a Superficial Recovery** - He felt deceived by the mental hospital (told he could leave but couldn’t) and by the school’s lack of support, deepening his resentment.
- 6 (19:38) **A Summer of Distraction and a New Plan** - After a decent summer spent “throwing a rug over a hole in the floor,” he returned to school in the fall and quickly realized he couldn’t handle the environment.
- 7 (30:24) **The Spiral: Meds Stopped, Isolation Deepens** - Feeling better, he and his doctor started taking him off his medications, leaving him with only Xanax as needed.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
Some stories are incredibly difficult to hear—but that doesn't mean they shouldn't be told.
At 16 years old, he brought a shotgun into his high school. One teacher was shot, countless lives were forever changed, and he would spend the next 17 years in prison living with the consequences of his actions.
Today, he works alongside educators, law enforcement, and mental health professionals, speaking openly about warning signs, intervention, accountability, healing, and hope for those who may be struggling in silence.
Topics Discussed:
→ What causes someone to become a school shooter?
→ Can childhood trauma lead to violent behavior?
→ What are the warning signs before school violence?
→ How does untreated depression affect teenagers?
→ Can someone truly change after prison?
Sponsored By:
→ AirDoctor | Head to https://AirDoctorPro.com and use promo code INSANE to get $250 off select AirDoctor air purifiers, including the 3500, 4000, and 5500 models. A 30-day money-back guarantee backs every purchase.
→ Cozy Earth | Stay comfortable all summer long with Cozy Earth’s Bamboo Sheet Set, Everywhere Pant, and Everyday Polo. For an exclusive offer, head to https://cozyearth.com and use code INSANE to receive 20% off your order.
On This Episode We Cover:
→ 00:00:00 - Introduction
→ 00:01:57 - What can we learn from someone who committed school violence?
→ 00:02:52 - Why is he telling his story now?
→ 00:05:24 - What was his childhood really like?
→ 00:07:27 - How did childhood sexual abuse shape his mental health?
→ 00:08:01 - When did depression begin to take over?
→ 00:09:05 - Why did he attempt suicide?
→ 00:12:21 - How did his relationship with school change?
→ 00:13:59 - Did the mental hospital actually help?
→ 00:16:16 - How did his mental health spiral so quickly?
→ 00:17:36 - Why did his mom hire an attorney?
→ 00:20:18 - Why didn't he tell anyone about the abuse?
→ 00:22:59 - What is the impact of being open about your trauma?
→ 00:26:20 - How can we all relate to each other more?
→ 00:27:57 - What happened after he left school for the summer?
→ 00:28:43 - How did he feel when he returned to school?
→ 00:29:55 - How did it feel to drop out of high school?
→ 00:31:48 - How did he start to feel at community college?
→ 00:33:55 - How was his mom handling his mental decline?
→ 00:35:21 - What is the gun safety process?
→ 00:37:12 - When did he become suicidal again?
→ 00:38:33 - Why did he decide to bring a gun to school?
→ 00:40:51 - What was in his suicide note?
→ 00:41:29 - What was going through his mind that morning?
→ 00:42:33 - How was he feeling throughout the shooting?
→ 00:44:3
More from this podcast
We're All Insane →