AI Summary
5 min read"I Cheated on My Pregnant Wife… With a Man"
On September 7, 2003, Jason W. Miller sat down with his pregnant wife and told her three things: he had been having an affair, it was with another man, and he is gay. He was 28 years old, one month shy of his 29th birthday, and had never spoken the word "gay" to describe himself until three months earlier—when his now-husband Matt asked him the morning after their first physical encounter how long he had known. Jason's answer: "Since I was about six."
The Suppression and the Affair
Jason grew up in Freeburg, Illinois, in the 1980s—during the AIDS crisis—and the only images of gay people he saw in media were "very, very flamboyant" and unrelatable. He describes a binary: "It was either like this box or this box. There was no in between." So he suppressed his feelings, dated a girl from age 17, married her at 22, and convinced himself that marriage was a kind of finality—"a lifetime where there's not really going to be any wiggle room."
Continue reading the full summary in the app — free to try.
Read Full Summary →Free • No credit card required
Never miss an episode of We're All Insane
Get every new episode summarized in your inbox — free, ~5 minutes to read.
No spam. Unsubscribe anytime.
What you'll learn
- 1 (00:00) **Advertisements** - Primark activewear and Equinox ads.
- 2 (01:15) **Introduction and Background** - Jason W. Miller introduces himself and sets the stage for his story.
- 3 (02:29) **The Affair and Self-Realization** - Jason describes the affair with his co-worker, Matt, and the moment he first admitted he was gay.
- 4 (03:59) **Early Feelings and Suppression** - Jason explains his childhood awareness of his attraction to men and why he never spoke about it.
- 5 (08:46) **The Affair's Origin Story** - Jason walks through how the affair with Matt began on a work trip.
- 6 (14:09) **The Pivotal Moment on a Jet Ski** - Jason recounts the specific moment he admitted his sexuality out loud.
- 7 (18:20) **Navigating the Aftermath and a Shocking Revelation** - Jason describes the complicated period after the trip and the news of his wife's pregnancy.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
For most of his life, Jason did what he thought he was supposed to do. He got married, built a career, and checked all the boxes, while quietly suppressing something he had actually known since he was six years old.
In 2003, at 28 years old, Jason came to terms with the fact that he was gay after developing a relationship with a coworker who was also married. What followed was incredibly complicated. There was an affair, two marriages, a pregnancy, fear of being outed, and eventually one of the hardest conversations of Jason's life, telling his wife the truth.
Check Out Jason:
→ Jason's website: https://www.jasonwaidmiller.com/
→ Jason's Instagram: @jasonwaidmiller
→ Jason's TikTok: @jasonwaidmiller
Sponsored By:
→ Shopify | Every story has a turning point. If you're ready to build something of your own, start your journey with a free trial at https://shopify.com/insane
→ HERS | Ready to reach your goals? Visit https://forhers.com/insane to get personalized, affordable care that gets you.
→ ZocDoc | Taking care of your health just got easier – start here with Zocdoc: https://zocdoc.com/insane #sponsored
On This Episode We Cover:
→ 00:00:00 - Introduction
→ 00:01:49 - What was it like knowing he was gay from such a young age?
→ 00:02:47 - Did he feel attracted to his wife?
→ 00:04:26 - How did he know he was gay from six years old?
→ 00:06:15 - Why did he suppress his sexuality for nearly 30 years?
→ 00:07:32 - How did the affair begin?
→ 00:12:52 - How did he feel after the first time he was with Matt?
→ 00:14:21 - What was the most stressful part of the affair?
→ 00:17:51 - What changed for him after the affair started?
→ 00:21:42 - What happened when he found out his wife was pregnant?
→ 00:25:02 - Did finding out he was going to be a father change things?
→ 00:28:09 - How did they decide it was time to tell their wives?
→ 00:30:26 - What was the difference between attraction and exploration?
→ 00:34:36 - What was it like telling his wife, “I’m gay”?
→ 00:37:27 - How did his ex-wife respond?
→ 00:40:45 - Why did she want to talk to Matt?
→ 00:41:54 - What was Matt’s response?
→ 00:43:36 - How did his ex-wife choose forgiveness and grace?
→ 00:47:46 - What made him decide to share his story publicly?
→ 00:51:48 - What did they do after coming out?
→ 00:56:20 - What is Matt’s relationship like with his ex-wife?
→ 00:58:38 - How did people in his community react?
→ 01:01:12 - When did Matt an
More from this podcast
We're All Insane →