AI Summary
5 min readAbused By a Pedophile
A 23-year-old man from the Pacific Northwest came forward to describe being groomed and sexually assaulted by his best friend's mother from ages 11 to 13. He wanted to make one thing clear from the start: "I feel like there's a large group of people in society where they would think something like this would be cool, or they would feel lucky if this happened to them. And it's not what people may think."
He did not recognize what happened to him as abuse for over a decade. "I didn't think it was trauma for the longest time. I didn't think it was rape. I didn't think it was abuse. I thought that I wanted everything that happened to me. And that was just not true." At 22, everything surfaced at once — panic attacks, flashbacks, memories he had suppressed entirely. He started therapy for the first time about a year before this conversation.
The Grooming: How She Targeted Him
The speaker described a home life that made him vulnerable. His parents were immigrants who worked constantly. His father was angry and absent. His mother was an alcoholic — "struggling to even walk because she was so drunk" by 4 or 5 PM. He spent as much time away from home as possible, throwing himself into sports and school.
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:46) **Guest Introduction and Purpose** - A 23-year-old man introduces himself and explains why he is sharing his story of being groomed and sexually assaulted by his best friend's mother from ages 11 to 13.
- 2 (04:38) **Background Before the Abuse** - The guest describes his early childhood as an immigrant and the growing instability at home that his abuser would later exploit.
- 3 (09:15) **The Grooming Begins** - He meets his abuser through her sons and she gradually inserts herself as a maternal figure, using his home struggles to build trust.
- 4 (17:07) **The Shift from Mother Figure to Predator** - The guest reflects on how he saw her as a safe, nurturing adult, but now questions whether that was all an act to get close to him.
- 5 (23:50) **The First Kiss and Escalation** - The guest describes the first physical encounter and how it rapidly escalated into a pattern of abuse.
- 6 (29:56) **Drugs, Alcohol, and Isolation** - The abuser used substances to control him and create more opportunities for abuse, starting in sixth grade.
- 7 (34:41) **The Loss of Virginity** - He recounts the first time she raped him, during seventh grade football season, and the lasting sensory triggers.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
This week, a survivor opens up about the deeply disturbing story of being sexually abused by an adult woman he trusted when he was just 11 years old. He shares how the grooming began, how he was manipulated into believing the abuse was love, the shame and confusion he carried for years, and how the trauma continues to affect his relationships, substance use, and healing today.
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On This Episode We Cover:
→ 00:00:00 - Introduction
→ 00:04:09 - What Was His Childhood Like?
→ 00:06:22 - What Was Happening at Home?
→ 00:08:32 - How Did He Meet His Abuser?
→ 00:13:22 - Why Did He Trust Her?
→ 00:19:00 - When Did Grooming Turn Into Abuse?
→ 00:24:02 - Why Did She Make Him Keep It a Secret?
→ 00:27:22 - Why Was She Giving Kids Drugs and Alcohol?
→ 00:33:46 - Did the Abuse Affect His Sexuality?
→ 00:36:08 - Why Did She Say He Would “Latch Onto” Her?
→ 00:36:48 - When Did the Sexual Abuse Escalate?
→ 00:41:44 - How Did the Abuse Affect His Family?
→ 00:44:34 - Why Couldn’t He Connect With His Mom?
→ 00:46:04 - Did His Friends Suspect What Was Happening?
→ 00:48:18 - How Did the Abuse Affect School and Friendships?
→ 00:51:34 - How did the abuse continue as he got older?
→ 00:55:06 - Why didn’t anyone intervene?
→ 01:00:00 - What happened when her niece came to visit?
→ 01:07:04 - When did he first try to end the relationship?
→ 01:10:44 - Why did the abuse start again?
→ 01:13:50 - When was the last time he saw his abuser?
→ 01:14:14 - How did he tell his fiancée what happened?
→ 01:16:22 - When did he finally start therapy?
→ 01:19:42 - What happened when he saw his abuser again?
→ 01:26:04 - Why does he want to speak out about his story?
→ 01:31:50 - What does he want other survivors to know?
Further Listening
→ I Dated My Predator
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