The romance slump is real, and the apps aren't helping

At a red flag party in a trendy bar on a hot summer evening, a woman told a reporter she'd rather get a root canal than go on another first date. She wasn't alone. Nearly everyone at the event described dating apps as exhausting, dehumanizing, and increasingly hopeless. One man said engagement on the apps has been "decreasingly worse and worse" — matches that don't lead to conversations, conversations that go nowhere, and a creeping sense of self-defeat. Another attendee summed up the feeling: "It feels so dehumanizing to be swiping on people and it makes me feel gross… but also at the same time it's like, what else am I supposed to do?"

That question — what else, if not the apps — is the central tension of the modern dating landscape.

The data on the romance slump

Faith Hill, a staff writer for The Atlantic who covers dating and relationships, has tracked what she calls an "overall romance slump" across multiple dimensions. The marriage rate in the US has been declining for decades. But the trend goes deeper: fewer young adults are entering committed relationships, people are having less sex, and a significant share of single people aren't regularly dating at all.