“Having kids was a mistake”

Host Sean Rameswaram reflects on his path to fatherhood, recalling surprise at a friend's early certainty about wanting kids at age 25. Against a backdrop of U.S. birth rates hitting record lows, the episode explores parental regret through personal stories and expert analysis, questioning why some find parenthood overwhelming despite societal assurances it will enrich life.

Stories of Regret from Young Mothers

Bindu Bansinath, a senior writer at The Cut, investigated r/regretfulparents, a subreddit where parents vent taboo feelings of overwhelm. She interviewed three anonymous young mothers of young children, who described feeling tricked into motherhood by promises from partners, family, and friends that it would be the "natural next step" and supported by a "village."

One Northeast mother, a former nonprofit executive with a six-year-old and three-year-old, worried pre-kids about upending her fulfilling life and career. Postpartum, her depression was dismissed by a doctor ("You don't feel like throwing the baby out the window, right?"), and daily life shrank to trivial choices like "crackers in the Red Bull or blue bowl." She envies childless friends' easier, happier lives, though she loves her kids; her husband adapts more naturally to caretaking.