Bad Haircut

September 20, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Bad Haircut

Theo Von opens this solo episode of This Past Weekend by describing a haircut that went wrong in New York City. A barber he didn't know ripped two inches off everywhere, leaving Theo with what he calls "southern Amish energy." The haircut made him feel like a "cactus in a halfway house." He wanted to rub methadone into his scalp. He called a bald friend to complain, which he quickly realized was a terrible idea—his friend Shane launched into a story about losing his hair at age nine, finding his own hair on his grandmother's hairless cat. Theo had to hang up. The haircut shame lasted a week. He noticed people glancing half a degree up when they talked to him, and he knew they could see it. "An extra inch on the bangs," he says, "and people lose all trust in you on an adult male."

The camper from hell

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What you'll learn

1 (00:00) **Podcast Intro** - Primark activewear ad plays, then Theo stumbles into the episode without a proper start
2 (01:32) **Bad Haircut Rant** - Theo describes getting a haircut he hates, calling it "southern Amish" energy
3 (04:24) **Haircut Shame and Bald Friend** - Theo reflects on a week of "haircut shame" and the mistake of complaining to a bald friend
4 (08:39) **The Social Cost of a Bad Haircut** - Theo argues that a bad haircut makes people lose all trust in an adult male
5 (10:10) **The Nightmare Camper Road Trip** - Theo recounts renting a camper with friends Bizzle and Zita for a 3,000-mile trip through Kentucky, Iowa, Illinois, and Michigan
6 (12:57) **Surviving the Camper and Finding Fun** - Theo describes huddling in the front seat with towels stuffed in every crevice while the whole camper "screamed for help"
7 (15:49) **Highlights of the Trip** - Theo shares the good parts of the Midwest adventure

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

Theo is back with a solo episode to talk about getting a bad haircut, his midwestern road trip in a broken down camper, and thoughts on the Macklemore/Gaza controversy. He also responds to some of your voicemails and calls a young dad looking for guidance.

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Tour Dates! https://theovon.com/tour

New Merch: https://www.theovonstore.com

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