Lindy West Told Us Everything in Adult Braces. Was It a Mistake?

March 24, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Bridget Todd hosts Ashley Ray, a polyamorous writer who critiqued Lindy West's memoir Adult Braces in Harper's, to unpack the book's revelations, the ensuing online firestorm, and what it reveals about 2010s feminist confessional writing.

Book Summary and Core Plot

Adult Braces continues from West's 2016 memoir Shrill, which ended with her fat wedding to husband Ahamefule J. Oluo (Aham) after her father's death. The new book discloses that Aham returned to her life with an ultimatum: an open marriage or no marriage. He frames monogamy as akin to slavery and ownership, particularly resonant given his Black identity and her whiteness. West sets rules—no one they know, no repeats, don't ask don't tell—but discovers violations: Aham has a Portland girlfriend (Roya) and a neighborhood lover. She embarks on a van-life road trip from Seattle to Florida's Keys (after learning fictional "Kokomo" isn't real), detouring to Kokomo, Indiana, and visiting friend Samantha Irby in Michigan. Amid body image struggles and sub-dom dynamics with Aham, she embraces a throuple with Aham and Roya, now living together in a family cabin. The book mixes travelogue, parental reflections, and relationship reckoning, ending on an uncertain but positive note with a fart joke.

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What you'll learn

1 (03:35) **Lindy West Intro** - Host summarizes Shrill's happy ending vs. Adult Braces' polyamory reveal and backlash
2 (05:40) **Ashley Ray Guest Intro** - Poly expert and Harper's author joins to dissect book and internet monoculture
3 (06:32) **Book's Internet Takeover** - Discussion of viral buzz across platforms as throwback to 2010s writer drama
4 (08:23) **Parasocial Fan Expectations** - 2010s body positivity icons owed "perfect" lives to readers
5 (09:30) **2010s Personal Essay Era** - "Bleed on page" culture built careers via raw confessional writing
6 (12:01) **Evolution of Feminist Writing** - Shift from body/sex oversharing to skepticism of "honest" narratives
7 (21:16) **Book Plot: Post-Shrill Ultimatum** - Ahum demands open marriage or leaves after Lindy's dad's death

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

Remember the personal essay industrial complex? The 2010s era of Jezebel and xoJane where feminist writers put every raw, messy, private part of themselves on the internet? Lindy West was its brightest star.

Her new memoir, Adult Braces, reckons with what that cost her, and with a marriage that turned out to be more complicated than the happy ending she sold us in her first memoir, Shrill.

Her book sent the internet into a spiral, enraged conservatives, disappointed some feminists, divided the polyamory community, and inspired her husband to send a very intense email to a Slate writer.

Writer and comedian Ashley Ray joins Bridget to talk about the book, the discourse, and what all of it says about feminist writing, parasocial fandom, and whether the personal essay industrial complex of the 2010s has run its course.

Ashley’s Harper’s piece - Lindy West and the Trap of Perfect Polyamory: https://www.harpersbazaar.com/culture/art-books-music/a70801519/lindy-west-adult-braces/

Scaachi’s Slate piece - Lindy West’s How-Not-To Guide to Polyamory: https://slate.com/life/2026/03/lindy-west-polyamory-open-marriage-husband-roya.html

She Had a Cat Hair Ball in Her Vagina — or Did She? https://www.thecut.com/2015/09/she-had-cat-hair-in-her-vagina-or-did-she.html

Check out Ashley’s Substack Deep Trouble: https://www.deeptrouble.net/

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