An honest conversation about marriage after a decade together

July 8, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Matt and Abby Howard have been together for a decade—a milestone they mark on The Unplanned Podcast by revisiting their first date, their worst fights, and the advice they ignored. But the episode is not a victory lap. It is a candid inventory of what they got wrong, especially after becoming parents, and what they are still trying to get right. The throughline is that marriage is not a static achievement but a series of course corrections, and the most important ones happen after you have kids.

The early years: trivia, cringe, and the first fight

The couple met in high school theater, went on their first date on Abby’s 18th birthday (Chick-fil-A, The Conjuring 2, and a hike at Castlewood State Park), and shared their first kiss that same night. They moved fast: “I think I love you” came within a month, and they were engaged by college. Their first real fight happened during unified theater auditions in Chicago, when Matt’s excitement about being a rare male dancer clashed with Abby’s discouragement as a “girl a dime a dozen.” The argument ended with Abby telling Matt to “go on without me.” It was the first time they had to make a life decision together, and it foreshadowed a pattern: Matt tends to charge ahead, Abby tends to feel left behind.

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What you'll learn

1 (02:10) **Welcome & Preview: A Decade Together** - Matt and Abby introduce the episode's theme: celebrating ten years of relationship with reflection, trivia, and hard-won advice.
2 (04:05) **How It All Started** - The couple recounts their first date, first kiss, and the awkward early moments that launched their relationship.
3 (07:00) **From College to Content Creation** - The pair explains how they accidentally built a career in social media, starting with a failed YouTube channel and pivoting during COVID.
4 (09:00) **Abby's Big Launch: Biswell Beauty Mascara** - Abby shares the long, secretive process of developing her own mascara brand, a project that taught her she is not a natural entrepreneur.
5 (14:25) **Relationship Trivia: The Early Years** - Matt and Abby quiz each other on the details of their first date, first fight, and first big purchases, revealing how much they remember.
6 (27:20) **Cringy Quotes from the Vault** - The couple plays a game called "Who Said That," revisiting old, public quotes from their early content that now make them laugh or cringe.
7 (36:12) **Worst Relationship Advice Ever** - Matt and Abby react to the most damaging advice submitted by their listeners, from "don't say I love you too often" to "keep a secret bank account."

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

We’ve officially been together for 10 years! In this episode, we’re sharing stories from our first date, reacting to some of our most cringeworthy old videos, and discussing the relationship advice that’s actually stood the test of time (and the advice we’d never follow). Thanks for being part of the journey with us. 🤍 Today's episode is sponsored by Ladder, Square, Factor, and Cash App. Ladder: If you have an iPhone, take a quick quiz at https://ladder.fit/UNPLANNED to get a free 7-day trial with no credit card required, plus $10 off your first month if you join. Square: Get up to $200 off Square hardware when you sign up at https://square.com/go/unplanned ! #squarepod Factor: Head tohttps://factormeals.com/unplanned50off and use code UNPLANNED50OFF to get 50% off and free daily greens per box with new subscription only, while supplies last until 09/27/2026. Cash App: Download Cash App Today: https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/kssum24w #CashAppPod Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement, for the Sutton debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-sutton and for the Bancorp debit flex card at cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-bancorp. Savings and Offers provided by Cash App, a Block Inc. brand. Offers may not be affiliated with third party merchants. Parents and legal guardians can open a managed account for kids 6-12. Cash App will pass through a portion of the interest paid on your savings balance held in an account for the benefit of Cash App customers at Wells Fargo Bank, N.A., Member FDIC. To earn interest on your Cash App savings balance, you need to have sponsor approval. Exceptions may apply. Savings yield rate is subject to change. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosures. Sign up here to be the first in the know! (Coming July 10th) biswell-beauty.com Follow The Unplanned Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/unplanned__podcast/ https://www.tiktok.com/@unplanned_podcast Listen to the pod on Spotify/ Apple Podcasts: https://open.spotify.com/show/1ToDA4ufQuWuEgMq07zN6t https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-unplanned-podcast/id1669604504 Follow Matt & Abby: Abby's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/abbyelizabethoward/ Matt's Instagram | https://www.instagram.com/_matt_howard_/ TikTok | https://www.tiktok.com/@matt_and_abby Facebook | https://www.facebook.com/mattandabb YouTube | https://www.youtube.com/@MattandAbby Chapters:

04:14 - 10 yrs together

08:44 - New launch! Big announcement!

19:36 - Relationship trivia

31:31 - Who said that?

39:25 - Best/Worst relationship advice

58:30 - What we'v