The SCP Experience
The SCP Experience

The Burger Nobody Could Refuse | SCP-5980

August 28, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

The Burger Nobody Could Refuse

Dr. Klaus, a senior researcher at an SCP Foundation site, was eating the best burger of his life. The grease dripped down his chin, and he had to restrain himself from moaning. The man who brought it to him was Dearborn, a D-class prisoner designated D-91563, who had somehow gotten access to the doctor's office. When Dr. Klaus finally asked why a prisoner would bring him a gift, Dearborn posed a simple question: "What kind of meat would you say you just ate?"

The answer was Ethan Chin.

The Immortal Butcher

SCP-5980 is the Foundation's designation for Ethan Chin, a 33-year-old man with perfect cellular regeneration—he is, by definition, biologically immortal. When Dearborn revealed the truth, he led Dr. Klaus through a hidden door in a broom closet to a forgotten laboratory where Ethan stood behind a clean table, meat cleaver in hand. Without hesitation, Ethan chopped off his own hand at the wrist, then calmly applied a compression bandage to the stump. "It'll grow back," he said. "Always does."

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (02:09) **The Irresistible Burger Appears** - Dr. Klaus is offered a burger by a D-class named Dearborn and devours it, but Dearborn dodges questions about why he brought it.
  • 2 (08:53) **The Meat's Addictive Properties Revealed** - Dearborn explains the meat isn't drugged but has properties that make people crave more, and Dr. Klaus feels the hunger starting.
  • 3 (12:24) **The Hidden Laboratory and Ethan Chin** - Dearborn takes Klaus through a secret door in a broom closet to a hidden lab, where Ethan Chin cuts off his own hand for meat.
  • 4 (15:54) **Klaus Eats Again and Is Enlisted** - Klaus is offered another burger and devours it, then agrees to help in exchange for "burgers for life."
  • 5 (20:58) **The Poisoned Burger and the Plan Expands** - Dearborn kills Klaus with a poisoned burger, then sends Muckles to Subfloor 16 and begins cooking for a larger takeover.
  • 6 (24:31) **The Cafeteria Takeover Begins** - Dearborn commands the D-class to secure the site and deliver burgers to everyone, including the director, with a deadly burger in hand.
  • 7 (27:28) **SCP-5980 Explained** - The episode ends with a formal description of SCP-5980, Ethan Chin, a biologically immortal man whose flesh is universally delicious and addictive.

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Show Notes

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This story is derived from The SCP Foundation Database and is released under Creative Commons Sharealike 3.0.⁠ ⁠⁠⁠https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/


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Author:  Jake Bible


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CONTENT DISCLAIMER:

This episode contains explicit content not limited to intense themes, strong language, and depictions of violence intended for adults. Parental guidance is strongly advised for children under the age of 18. Listener discretion is advised. 




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