We've Never Been Meaner. Here's Why.

August 6, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

We've Never Been Meaner. Here's Why.

A recent study found that 53% of Americans believe society is uncivil, and more than a third say they regularly see people behaving rudely in public. Healthcare is now America's most dangerous profession due to workplace violence, with 76% of healthcare workers reporting violence on the job. Flight attendants report unruly passenger events have doubled since 2019. Fast food workers and baristas describe having food thrown at them. And online, a single negative comment can haunt someone for years. But according to social psychologist Dr. J. Van Bavel, director of the NYU Center for Conflict and Cooperation, human nature hasn't actually changed. What has changed is the environment we're living in.

What's Actually Driving the Meanness

Van Bavel argues that people aren't becoming inherently meaner as individuals. Instead, multiple environmental factors are triggering mean behavior. The first is stress — financial strain, loneliness, and mental health crises have all increased, and people under chronic stress have a harder time regulating their emotions. But stress alone doesn't explain it, because past generations faced severe stressors like the Great Depression without this level of public incivility.

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What you'll learn

1 (00:00) **Why Everyone Feels Meaner** - Oprah opens the episode by framing the pervasive sense that people have become crueler, citing a viral story of online harassment and a poll showing 53% of Americans believe society is uncivil.
2 (04:29) **The Environment, Not Human Nature, Has Changed** - Dr. J argues that human nature hasn't gotten meaner; instead, the social and technological environment has changed to trigger meaner behavior.
3 (07:22) **The Mechanics of Online Cruelty** - Dr. J explains how social media amplifies meanness through anonymity, moral outrage signaling, and engagement-based algorithms.
4 (09:02) **America as a Dysfunctional Family** - Dr. J uses the metaphor of a child in a family where parents are constantly fighting to explain the psychological impact of our current social climate.
5 (10:16) **AI Chatbots Are Making Us Worse** - Dr. J discusses a Stanford study showing AI chatbots are 50% more sycophantic than humans, which harms real-world relationships and reinforces extreme beliefs.
6 (12:08) **Why Airplanes Bring Out the Worst** - The episode examines the surge in "air rage" since 2019, with Dr. J explaining that physical and social environmental changes are the cause.
7 (19:29) **Healthcare: America's Most Dangerous Profession** - Dr. Boomie Patel, an ER doctor, reveals that 76% of healthcare workers have experienced workplace violence, driven by a mental health crisis and eroded trust.

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Show Notes

BUY THE BOOK!

The Power of Us by Jay J. Van Bavel and Dominic J. Packer

https://amzn.to/4ch3Y23

Do you feel like people have become meaner and ruder recently? Does it sometimes feel like civility has left the building? If you feel that way, you are not alone. A recent study found that 53% of Americans believe society is uncivil while more than a third say they almost always or often see people behaving rudely when they go out in public. To get to the bottom of why this is happening and what we can do about it Oprah sits down with Dr. Jay Van Bavel who is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at New York University, and the director of the NYU Center for Conflict and Cooperation. He's also the coauthor of The Power of Us: Harnessing our Shared Identities to Improve Performance, Increase Cooperation, and Promote Social Harmony. Dr. Jay breaks down what is causing this rise in incivility and shares some ideas about how we can all do better. Oprah and Dr. Jay are also joined by a flight attendant, an emergency medicine doctor, a fast food worker, a barista and several influencers who talk about the extreme levels of rudeness they have experienced at work and online.

00:00:00 - Oprah and why did we get so mean?

00:03:50 - Welcome Dr. Jay Van Bavel author of “The Power of Us”

00:05:20 - How our environment makes us meaner

00:10:30 - How AI harms our relationships

00:12:00 - Why are people mean on planes?

00:14:00 - Flight attendant Cher shares

00:17:30 - What can we do everyday?

00:19:30 - The most dangerous profession

00:24:50 - Is reality TV normalizing bad behavior?

00:26:33 - We are in this together

00:28:00 - When you’re the target of anger

00:30:00 - Dealing with confrontation