The Psychology of Ambitious People

The most ambitious people in the world often started at rock bottom. In the 1970s, psychologist Marvin Eisenstadt studied hundreds of the most important figures in history—scientists, writers, and leaders with the longest entries in the encyclopedia. What he found was striking: about a quarter of them lost a parent before age 10, and nearly half lost a parent by age 20. The people who shaped history were disproportionately likely to have had their world fall apart as children. The pain they experienced created drive. When your floor is rock bottom, you are willing to work harder and run farther than the average person. Pain, host Rob Dial argues, may be the greatest motivator humans have.

But that drive comes in two very different forms. Dial explains the distinction through the work of psychologist Mark Elliott, who studies avoidance goals versus approach goals. An approach goal is moving toward something you want. An avoidance goal is getting away from something you fear. The problem with avoidance goals is that there is no finish line. How far away from the pain is far enough? There is no real answer, so the brain just keeps going. This creates what Buddhism calls "hungry ghosts"—creatures that eat and eat but can never get full. Many ambitious people are trying to fill a hole in their soul with achievement, and achievement will never actually fill that hole. The real quest