How to Talk to People You Profoundly Disagree With | Shamil Idriss

August 17, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Shamil Idriss, CEO of Search for Common Ground, grew up in a Connecticut town where his family was the only Muslims he knew, spent summers in Turkey with his mother’s family, and worked for Ralph Nader’s liberal advocacy groups while his friends’ parents ran major corporations. He learned early to resist seeing people as all good or all bad. That personal history led him to a career in conflict resolution, first at Search for Common Ground out of college, then as staff director for Kofi Annan’s UN Alliance of Civilizations, and now back at the organization he joined as a young man — an organization that was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize in 2018.

The condition that makes dialogue possible

Idriss describes a rabbi in Manhattan who told him that his greatest concern is that members of his community are “losing the sense that our future is tied up in the future of others.” That loss — the erosion of what Idriss calls the African concept of Ubuntu, “I am because you are” — is the fundamental problem. It operates at every level, from a polarized synagogue congregation to international relations. When people no longer feel their fates are linked, they build higher walls, and dialogue becomes impossible.

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What you'll learn

1 (00:00) **Shamil Idriss’s Origin Story** - Growing up across cultural, religious, and political divides shaped his inability to see people as all good or all bad.
2 (06:46) **The UN Alliance of Civilizations** - A post-9/11 initiative to counter the "clash of civilizations" narrative, where Shamil served as staff director to 20 eminent personalities.
3 (10:10) **The Core Problem: Losing Our Sense of Shared Future** - A rabbi’s concern that his community is losing the belief that their future is tied to the future of others.
4 (13:30) **Common Ground USA: Building Trust Before the Hurricane** - The largest program is now in the U.S., focused on building relationships across dividing lines before crises hit.
5 (17:32) **Starting with the Personal, Not the Political** - Effective bridge-building begins with shared personal experiences and the need to be heard, not with debating divisive issues.
6 (22:50) **The Power of Being Heard and Respected** - When people express offensive views and are met with respectful disagreement, it opens up curiosity and reduces polarization.
7 (23:27) **The Value of Cultural Curiosity** - Moving beyond judgment to genuine curiosity about other cultures and belief systems can reveal common moral beauty.

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Show Notes

How do you find common ground with someone you profoundly disagree with?

At a time when political, religious, and cultural divisions seem deeper than ever, peacebuilder Shamil Idriss, CEO of Search for Common Ground, shares what decades of bringing people together have taught him about trust, conflict, and human connection.

In this conversation with Chip Conley, Shamil explores:

Why being heard and respected matters more than being agreed with

How building trust before a crisis can bridge even deep divides
Why curiosity is more powerful than judgment
How taking just one meaningful action can restore hope
Why today’s breakdown may ultimately lead to breakthrough

From global conflicts to disagreements in our own communities, Shamil offers a hopeful reminder that our futures are interconnected, and that each of us can help build common ground.

Watch now to discover how connection can begin, even when we disagree.

Timestamps:

(03:50) Meet Shamil Idriss

(04:55) The Beginning of Peacebuilding Journey

(08:48) Inside the UN Alliance of Civilizations

(11:02) Why Our Futures Are Connected

(15:07) How to Build Common Ground

(19:40) What Can We Do Together?

(21:39) How Trust Is Built Across Differences

(24:07) Being Heard Matters More Than Agreement

(26:19) Curiosity Instead of Judgment

(29:10) Why Peacebuilding Is Harder Today

(32:00) The Power of Doing One Thing

(36:48) How to Hold On to Hope

(40:38) A Lifetime of Lessons

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