The New Rules of Friendship: Fake Friends, Annoying Boundaries, & Bad Texters
October 21, 2026
AI Summary
5 min readIn a culture that often treats adult friendship as either effortless or hopeless, psychologist and University of Maryland professor Dr. Marissa G. Franco spent this episode ranking viral internet friendship advice from S-tier (superior) down to F. The result is a nuanced map of what actually works—and what makes loneliness worse. Franco, author of Platonic and the forthcoming Worth, argues that most viral advice is too black-and-white, and that the real skill of friendship lies in tolerating ambiguity, initiating despite fear, and treating relationships as something you build rather than find.
The Problem with "No Friends Is Better Than Bad Friends"
The episode opened with a popular Instagram sentiment: "Would rather have no friends than bad friends." Franco pushed back hard. While actively harmful friends—those who aren't happy at your success, who dismiss your needs, or who talk behind your back—are worth distancing from, the advice flattens a complex reality. "It's better to not have these kinds of friends," Franco said, "partially because it takes your time away from finding friends that can do that." But she warned against applying this logic to merely mediocre friendships. "Bridge friends" and "locationships"—people who aren't soulmates but with whom you share a specific activity or life phase—can still boost well-being and lead to deeper connections. She ranked
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:02) **Introducing the Friendship Advice Ranking System** - Dr. Marissa Franco joins Liz to rank viral internet friendship advice from S (superior) to F (worst).
- 2 (01:07) **"Better to Have No Friends Than Bad Friends" - Ranked B** - Liz plays an Instagram video arguing that bad friends cost you more than loneliness, and Dr. Franco offers nuanced pushback.
- 3 (04:14) **How Many Friends Do You Actually Need?** - Research shows we max out on friendships around age 25, then shift to prioritizing quality over quantity.
- 4 (06:22) **"If a Friend Doesn't Text Back for Weeks, They're Not a Good Friend" - Ranked C** - A Reddit post claims slow texters are bad friends, but Dr. Franco introduces the concept of the "acceptance prophecy."
- 5 (10:16) **"Save Your Good Advice for Your Smart Friends" - Ranked B** - A TikTok suggests not wasting advice on "dumb friends," but Dr. Franco reframes how to give advice that actually lands.
- 6 (12:12) **"A Real Friend Wouldn't Get Defensive During Difficult Conversations" - Ranked B** - A video claims genuine connections never deteriorate from hard talks, but Dr. Franco normalizes the human struggle.
- 7 (16:50) **"A Real Friend Comes to You, Not Everyone Else" - Ranked A** - A clip argues real friends address issues directly instead of gossiping, but Dr. Franco explores why we gossip anyway.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
I’m ranking relatable, viral friendship advice from the internet with a top friendship psychologist.
Dr. Marisa G. Franco is a professor at the University of Maryland and the person whose bestselling book Platonic rewired how millions of us think about adult friendship.
🎧 What you’ll learn:
• What makes people genuinely more attracted to you
• How to give friends advice they'll actually listen to
• If it’s bad if you’re the one who always initiates plans
• Why "diagnostic moments" in friendships make the most impact
• If it’s better to have no friends or bad friends
• If work friends can be real friends
• How to set boundaries and be a good friend
• If it’s bad if your friend gets jealous of you (or vice versa)
• How to tell when it’s time to end a friendship
Check out the previous episodes of The Liz Moody Podcast with Dr. Marisa G. Franco:
“We Were Wrong About Secure Attachment & It's Ruining Our Relationships”
“Science-Backed Secrets For Making Friends As An Adult: Become Super Likable, Find Your BEST Friend, & Deepen Existing Relationships”
For more from Dr. Marisa G. Franco:
• Her Book, Worth: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/784327/worth-by-marisa-g-franco-phd/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drmarisagfranco/?hl=en
• Website: https://drmarisagfranco.com/
Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now!
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