Ranking Viral Relationship Advice (with Couples Therapist Zach Brittle)
July 27, 2026
AI Summary
5 min readMost viral relationship advice sounds reasonable but falls apart in practice because it replaces genuine connection with rigid rules. On the Liz Moody Podcast, couples therapist Zach Brittle—one of the few clinicians certified in both the Gottman Method and Terry Real’s Relational Life Therapy—ranked popular social media advice from S to F tier. His central argument was consistent: the best relationship advice teaches people how to be curious, kind, and explicit about their needs. The worst advice treats partners as opponents and certainty as wisdom.
The problem with “matching energy” and game-playing
The first piece of advice came from Kristen Cavallari: when a guy pulls away, match his energy and stop texting first. Brittle called it “terrible.” The advice assumes you know exactly what his silence means—disinterest—when in reality, his phone could be dead, his mother could be in the hospital, or he could simply be busy. “Anytime that you sort of build your relationship philosophy on ‘is the person behaving in exactly the way I need them to behave,’ then you’re limiting yourself,” Brittle said. The deeper problem is that this approach avoids the one thing that actually builds a relationship: a direct conversation. He suggested saying something like, “Hey, sometimes when you don’t text me back within a day, it stirs something up in me that makes me wonder if we’re compati
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:46) **Introducing Zach Brittle and the Ranking Framework** - Liz introduces Zach Brittle, a therapist certified in both the Gottman Method and Relational Life Therapy, and sets up the S-through-F tier ranking system for viral relationship advice.
- 2 (01:36) **Kristen Cavallari: "Match His Energy" When He Pulls Away** - Zach dismantles the advice to pull away when a partner seems distant, arguing it’s built on certainty and assumption rather than connection.
- 3 (05:51) **Arthur Brooks: Four Ways to Strengthen a Marriage** - Zach evaluates Brooks’ four pillars—more fun, pray/meditate, eye contact, and physical touch—finding only one truly essential.
- 4 (11:08) **Jay Shetty: Watching TV Together Is the Lowest Form of Intimacy** - Zach pushes back on the idea that watching TV is inherently bad for a relationship, arguing it can be a valid form of connection.
- 5 (13:47) **Lauren Olivia: You Have to Ask Your Partner to Change** - Zach validates the core message that partners need to communicate their needs, but emphasizes the *how* is critical.
- 6 (25:48) **Quinlan Walther: Two Questions for a Lasting Relationship** - Zach critiques the question "How do I unintentionally hurt your feelings?" for inviting complaint rather than connection.
- 7 (28:15) **Self Ora: A Woman Mirrors the Emotional Environment** - Zach challenges the premise that a marriage’s happiness is entirely in the husband’s hands, arguing it gives one partner too much power.
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Show Notes
The viral relationship advice that we see on social media is often not the advice that's going to help us the most. In fact, it's often the stuff that goes viral that can cause us more frustration when we try it and it doesn't work. So today, Couples Therapist, Zach Brittle, joins me to clear things up and rank popular relationship advice from the internet (from the best advice to advice you should ignore).
🎧 What you’ll learn:
• Why couples who never fight might actually be in more danger than those who argue regularly
• The one skill that matters more than how you argue
• How to know if someone is truly emotionally unavailable
• The simple daily habit that builds emotional intelligence in even the most "closed-off" partners
• Why certainty is a relationship killer
• How to identify the two-thirds of your conflicts that will never be resolved (& why that's actually good news)
Check out the previous episode with Zach Brittle:
Top Couples Therapist: How To Stop Settling For Less Than You Deserve (Even When He Thinks Everything's Fine)
Check out the previous ranking advice episodes of The Liz Moody Podcast by searching the titles below:
• Ranking Skincare Advice From Social Media (with Dr. Sam Ellis)
• Ranking Fitness Advice From Social Media (with Harley Pasternak)
• Ranking Gut Health Advice From Social Media (with Dr. Karan Rajan)
• Ranking ADHD Advice For Women From Social Media (with Therapist Jenna Free)
• Therapy Advice: Ranking Best & Worst From Social Media (with Lori Gottlieb)
• Money Advice: Ranking Best & Worst From Social Media (with HerFirst100K)
• Healthy Eating Advice: Ranking Best & Worst From Social Media (with Nutrition By Kylie)
For more from Zach Brittle:
• Website: https://zachbrittle.com/
• Substack: https://zachbrittle.substack.com/
• Podcast: https://marriagetherapyradio.com/all-episodes/
Ready to uplevel every part of your life? Order Liz’s book 100 Ways to Change Your Life: The Science of Leveling Up Health, Happiness, Relationships & Success now!
Connect with Liz on Instagram @lizmoody or online at www.lizmoody.com. Subscribe to the substack by visiting More from this podcast