The Jordan Harbinger Show
The Jordan Harbinger Show

1350: Survived the Service, But Mom Makes Him Nervous | Feedback Friday

June 26, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Surviving the Service, But Mom Makes Him Nervous

A 55-year-old retired military veteran who describes himself as having lived the American Dream—26 years of service, a master's degree, a successful IT management career, a 34-year marriage to his high school sweetheart, and two well-adjusted kids—writes in because he cannot figure out what to do about his mother. She was a teen mom and an alcoholic who lost custody of him when he was 13. He was raised by his grandparents. Decades later, after she moved to his town and became a loving grandmother, their relationship improved. Then her husband died, she started drinking again, and things unraveled. She threatened suicide with a gun in her hand. He got her into therapy. She went once. When he and his wife moved to be closer to her own family, his mother called him drunk, told him his wife was manipulating him, called him a pussy, said she'd kill herself, and told him never to contact her again. She later apologized, asked for $20,000, and cashed the check he sent. He is now in therapy for the first time, trying to figure out whether he is a horrible person for pulling away from her.

The Step-Son Who Won't Launch

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (01:33) **Show Open & Host Banter** - Jordan and Gabe catch up on Gabe’s return to LA and Jordan’s upcoming trip to China.
  • 2 (09:18) **Letter 1: Step-Son Quit His Job, Plays Video Games** - A stepmother worries her 24-year-old stepson will become a “lump” after quitting his retail job without a plan.
  • 3 (24:54) **Letter 2: IRA Beneficiary Dispute After Father’s Death** - A husband is seemingly cut out of his father’s IRA, and the sisters offer only half as a gift to avoid taxes.
  • 4 (37:43) **Letter 3: Reluctant Manager Wants to Step Down** - A new manager is miserable, anxious, and depressed, and wants to return to an individual contributor role.
  • 5 (55:20) **Recommendation of the Week: In Waves and War** - Jordan recommends a Netflix documentary about Navy SEALs with PTSD undergoing psychedelic-assisted therapy with ibogaine and 5-MeO-DMT.
  • 6 (60:48) **Letter 4: Retired Vet’s Mom Makes Him Miserable** - A 55-year-old retired military man with a successful life is torn about his alcoholic, manipulative mother who has a history of abuse and suicide threats.
  • 7 (83:28) **Show Wrap & Networking Course Plug** - Jordan reminds listeners to build their network before they need it with his free six-minute networking course.

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Show Notes

You survived a brutal childhood and built a beautiful life, but your toxic mom won't stop the guilt trips. Cut her off for good? It's Feedback Friday!

And in case you didn't already know it, Jordan Harbinger (@JordanHarbinger) and Gabriel Mizrahi (@GabeMizrahi) banter and take your comments and questions for Feedback Friday right here every week! If you want us to answer your question, register your feedback, or tell your story on one of our upcoming weekly Feedback Friday episodes, drop us a line at [email protected]. Now let's dive in!

Full show notes and resources can be found here: jordanharbinger.com/1350

On This Week's Feedback Friday:

  • Your 24-year-old stepson, degree in hand, depression in tow, just quit his retail job with nothing lined up, and you're picturing a future of closed doors and video-game screaming. You want his dad to crack the whip, but you're scared to say a word yourself. So how do you light a fire you can't build?
  • Your father-in-law's IRA was supposed to split three ways, until your husband mysteriously vanished from the paperwork, leaving his two sisters holding his third. They're dangling half as a tax-free "gift." Is this an honest estate-planning slip or something with sharper edges — and do you lawyer up?
  • You took the management job everyone swore you were built for. A year in, the title fits like a hot, itchy costume you can't wait to shed. The petty stuff — loud ringtones, an unemptied trash can — wrecks you more than the big problems. Now you're stepping back into less pay and dread. Are you doomed?
  • Recommendation of the Week: In Waves and War — a Netflix documentary trailing former Navy SEALs — guys allergic to anything touchy-feely — as severe PTSD and brain injuries push them toward psychedelic-assisted therapy in vetted clinics. Watching these hardened men crack open is harder to look away from than you'd expect.
  • You beat odds most people never face: a brutal childhood, and a mother whose love always came tangled with chaos and addiction. After years of painstakingly rebuilding things with her, her latest spiral forced you to choose your own family and step away. Now you're in therapy, wondering if this makes you horrible.
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