How to Respond to Unsolicited Advice

When someone tells you what to do, the instinct is often to push back or explain yourself. But Jefferson Fisher, a trial lawyer and communication expert, offers a simpler path: just say "thank you." In this episode of his podcast, Fisher fields listener questions about unsolicited advice, trap questions, testifying in court, and navigating difficult family relationships. His answers consistently return to a few core principles: stay regulated, separate what was actually said from the story you tell yourself about it, and choose your response rather than reacting.

The Three-Word Responses That Shut Down Unsolicited Advice

When someone tells you what to do, Fisher recommends three short phrases that end the exchange without escalating it. The first is simply "thank you." This works because it acknowledges the person without endorsing their advice. It cuts off the conversation and, as Fisher notes, it also reveals intent: if the advice was patronizing or backhanded, a simple thank you leaves no room for the giver to continue.

The second phrase is "maybe so." Fisher uses this with his own grandfather. It's a way of saying, "Maybe that's true, maybe it's not—who knows?" It neither accepts nor rejects the advice, and it keeps the speaker from needing to defend their position.