How to Raise Kids Who Aren't Entitled

Dr. Becky Kennedy, a clinical psychologist and parenting expert, joined Jefferson Fisher for a conversation that cuts through the noise of modern parenting advice. The central insight: entitlement isn't about having too much stuff—it's about never learning to tolerate frustration. And the most important parenting skill isn't getting it right; it's knowing how to repair when you don't.

The Mechanics of Supported Struggle

When a child says "I can't," most parents either jump in to fix the problem or dismiss the struggle entirely. Dr. Becky offers a third path she calls "supported struggle." It rests on two beliefs that must be held together: "I believe you" (this is hard) and "I believe in you" (you can handle it). The first without the second collapses into overprotection. The second without the first becomes shaming.

She illustrates this with a story about her son struggling with a puzzle at age three. Instead of doing it for him or telling him it wasn't a big deal, she said: "I think the best feeling in the world is when you think you can't do something and then you watch yourself make progress on it. And I'm not going to take that feeling away from you." She offered him a break, not an exit. That distinction matters: support is not the same as providing solutions.