3 Bad Conversation Habits We’re All Guilty Of

Most people enter difficult conversations already defeated—not because the other person is unreasonable, but because they have rehearsed the entire exchange in their head before a single word is spoken. Relationship expert Dr. John Deloney and communication specialist Jefferson Fisher join the show to break down the three most common conversation habits that derail leaders, and explain why the real work of good communication happens long before you open your mouth.

The Three Defaults That Sink Conversations

Fisher identifies three patterns that reliably send conversations off the rails. The first is scripting the conversation in advance—imagining what the other person will say, how you will respond, and what the outcome will be. The problem is that when the real person says something unexpected, you have no flexibility. You are stuck trying to force a script that no longer fits. The second is rushing. Leaders often treat speed as a virtue, believing that getting through a hard conversation quickly makes it less painful. In reality, rushing makes people reactive and defensive. Fisher advises saying something like, “I’m going to have a conversation with you over the next few weeks,” which releases the pressure valve immediately. The third is turning statements into accusations instead of questions. “Usually they’re very accusatory,” Fisher says. “Instead, it’s much better to