"I Don't Love Her" — But That's Not the Real Problem

Edward calls in from Richmond, Virginia, and he's honest from the start: "My life's been a little bit of a mess, to be honest. I've divorced twice and I'm currently living with the lady that I cheated with." He's been with her for almost two years, and he knows inside that he doesn't love her. He's never talked about this before. He's been using alcohol to cope. He doesn't know whether to end this relationship and work on himself, or try to make it work.

Dr. John Delony immediately reframes the question. Feeling in love, he says, is not something to base decisions on — it comes and goes. Love is an action, a series of things you do and receive. Not feeling in love right now doesn't mean it's over; that's a Hollywood idea. But staying in a relationship just to avoid hurting someone is also wrong — it's disrespectful and dishonoring.

The Real Problem Isn't Her

Edward explains more of his story. Seven years ago, he found healing through trail running. It cleared his mind, helped him step away from addictions, and he eventually got completely sober for almost two years. But his wife at the time wasn't part of that journey. They grew apart. Friends told him he deserved better, that his wife wasn't on his level. He let those voices get in his head, cheated, divorced her, and moved the other woman in.