"He's Not on the Phone, So I'm Going to Talk Directly With You"

A woman named Lisa calls Dr. John Delony eight months after her husband told her he wanted to separate. He said it once, then nothing happened. No papers filed, no bags packed, no follow-through. She has two young children, and she says she doesn't want to "instill wishy-washy values" in them. But she also hasn't brought the subject back up herself. She's been waiting, hoping the moment passes, managing everyone's emotions while her own life sits in limbo.

Delony doesn't let her stay there. "Why have you allowed this to go on for eight months?" he asks. "Without turning all the lights on in the house, turning off all the dancing, all the music, all the drama, and sitting down at the table and saying, 'You told me you were gonna leave. I need clarity on this.'"

The Brick in the Pool

Delony gives Lisa a metaphor to work with. If someone throws a brick into a pool, not talking about the brick doesn't make it any less real. It just means the water drains out while the brick sits at the bottom. Her husband fractured the stability of their marriage by saying what he said. Not addressing it doesn't make the crack smaller. It just lets the water drain so they can deal with the brick.