“I’m Not Included in My Husband’s Inheritance”

A 60-year-old woman named Annie called in from Des Moines, Iowa, after 33 years of marriage, shaking as she asked how to approach her husband about his lies and an inheritance he refuses to spend on their household or family. He plans to leave it to his children from previous marriages and their two shared children—but not to her. When she tries to talk about anything difficult, he tells her she’s “ruining his day.”

The real problem isn’t the inheritance

Dr. John Delony immediately pulled Annie back from the immediate crisis. The inheritance question, he said, was just the surface symptom of a much older pattern. When he asked what other topics her husband refused to discuss, Annie revealed that their son Frankie died suddenly five years ago at age 26. Her husband’s response was to take Frankie’s pickup truck—which Annie wanted to keep—and give it to his grandson from his first marriage. The grandson crashed it within weeks, and Annie’s husband, his son, and his daughter-in-law all lied to her about it for four months.

This wasn’t new. Annie admitted the pattern had existed “forever.” Delony pressed: “My guess is you’ve been an accessory to the life he has wanted to live for 33 years. A very important accessory. But y’all haven’t co-built anything.” Annie agreed.