The Dr. John Delony Show
The Dr. John Delony Show

Caller: “I Refuse to Date Women My Age”

July 20, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Caller: “I Refuse to Date Women My Age”

A 34-year-old DJ and touring musician from Los Angeles called in with a question he framed carefully: he prefers dating younger women—currently a 19-year-old—because they offer more flexibility around marriage and kids, fit his travel schedule, and share his appetite for adventure. But he also noticed a pattern among older men in his industry: they cycle through relationships with younger women, start over every few years, and end up alone. He wanted to know how to avoid that “Leonardo DiCaprio cycle” and whether his preference was genuine or just a product of his culture, upbringing, and lifestyle. He said he genuinely wants a lifetime partner and kids by age 40.

Dr. John Delony did not challenge the premise gently. He asked directly whether aesthetic attraction to younger women was part of it, and the caller agreed. Then Delony told him what he has heard from musician, comic, and actor friends who “made it”: “I can't believe I thought that was life.” Almost universally, they described the emptiness of career highs compared to the experience of having a child run in and say “Dad's home.” There is no crowd, no streaming number, no email from a manager that compares. Delony said he still works nights and tours, but an hour-long car ride with his daughter meant more to him than the best comedy set of his career.

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What you'll learn

  • 1 (00:05) **Caller Introduces the "Leonardo DiCaprio Cycle"** - Kanal, a 34-year-old touring DJ in Los Angeles, explains his pattern of dating much younger women and asks how to avoid getting stuck in a cycle of starting over once a partner turns 25.
  • 2 (03:37) **John Challenges the "Aesthetic" Justification** - John asks Kanal to admit that attraction to youth is a primary factor; Kanal partially agrees but re-emphasizes practical timing issues with women his age.
  • 3 (04:13) **The "I Can't Believe That Was Life" Warning** - John shares a recurring theme from older entertainment industry peers: after having kids, they realize the nightlife was empty compared to family.
  • 4 (06:58) **The Reality of "Boring" and "Real"** - John contrasts the adrenaline of green rooms with the mundane, grounding reality of having a child, emphasizing that the latter is ultimately more fulfilling.
  • 5 (08:48) **The Caller Reveals He's Dating a 19-Year-Old** - Kanal mentions his current partner is 19, prompting John to immediately and firmly say, "Don't date teenagers."
  • 6 (10:52) **The "Pick You" Framework** - John explains that long-term partnership is a daily act of choosing your spouse over career, frustration, and change.
  • 7 (11:19) **Challenging the "Age 40" Life Plan** - John warns against a rigid timeline, using his own unexpected infertility and miscarriages as proof that life doesn't follow a script.

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Guests on this episode

Dr. John Delony

Show Notes

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On today’s episode, we hear about:

  • A man who only dates younger women
  • A husband wondering if separation can save his marriage
  • A woman who feels excluded from her boyfriend’s social circle

 

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