"If I Don't Return": The Ethical Will as a Father's Most Important Document

Lieutenant General Mark Hertling spent nearly 40 years in the U.S. Army, starting as a tank platoon leader and eventually commanding U.S. Army Europe. On his first deployment, he was told his unit could face casualties as high as 50 percent. Facing the possibility that he might not come home, he began writing what he wanted to leave his two young sons — not a legal will about property and money, but an ethical will about character and values. That document became the book If I Don't Return: A Father's Wartime Journal. In conversation with Ryan Holiday on Father's Day, Hertling reflects on what he got right, what he would emphasize more now, and why the ethical will matters for every parent, not just those facing combat.

The Ethical Will: Bequeathing Character, Not Just Assets

The Jewish tradition of the ethical will is the framework Hertling uses. A legal will says "you get the house, you get the life insurance policy, you get mom's jewelry and dad's jackets." The ethical will says: here is the character I am trying to bequeath to you. Here are the values I want you to live by. Hertling's book is exactly that — a document written under the assumption he might not return, intended to pass on lessons about emotions, character, and leadership rather than material possessions.