Why people cheat—and can relationships recover, with Galena Rhoades, PhD

August 26, 2026

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5 min read

In a 1977 Playboy interview, the late evangelist Billy Graham confessed that he had “committed adultery in his heart many times” simply by looking at other women with lust—and his admission sounds almost quaint today. Yet the question at its core has only become more complicated: what counts as cheating, and how do you know when you’ve crossed a line? Galena Rhoades, a research professor of psychology at the University of Denver, studies infidelity, commitment, and how couples navigate betrayal. In this episode of Speaking of Psychology, she explains why definitions of infidelity are shifting, what the research does and doesn’t tell us about who cheats, and how couples can recover—or decide not to.

Infidelity is defined by the couple, not by a checklist

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What you'll learn

1 (00:31) **The Pain of Betrayal & Defining Infidelity** - Host Kim Mills introduces the topic and guest Dr. Galena Rhoades, setting up the core questions about what cheating is in the modern age.
2 (05:31) **How Common Is Cheating?** - The difficulty of getting reliable statistics due to changing definitions and secretive behavior.
3 (08:49) **Gender Differences in Reactions to Cheating** - Exploring the different ways men and women typically respond to emotional vs. physical infidelity.
4 (09:48) **Has Technology Increased Cheating?** - The impact of dating apps, social media, and constant connectivity on the opportunity and definition of infidelity.
5 (12:13) **Why People Cheat: It’s Often About Opportunity** - Challenging the common assumption that cheating is always a symptom of a bad relationship.
6 (14:16) **The Depth of the Affair Matters** - How the strength of the connection in the affair affects recovery for both partners.
7 (15:57) **Can You Predict Who Will Cheat?** - The limits of prediction and the key warning sign of "alternative monitoring."

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

Infidelity can shatter trust and leave people questioning their relationships and themselves. Galena Rhoades, PhD, discusses why people cheat; infidelity in the age of dating apps, social media and AI chatbots; what makes some betrayals harder to overcome than others; and how psychologists help individuals and couples begin to heal after an affair.

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