The science of emotional regulation — and how to do it better

September 2, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

The science of emotional regulation — and how to do it better

"There's no such thing as a bad emotion. Emotions are signals, they're information, they're guides." That's the core claim from Marc Brackett, an emotion scientist and founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, who has spent 25 years studying how people relate to their feelings. The problem, he argues, is not that we have difficult emotions — it's that most of us were never taught what to do with them.

Brackett knows this from personal experience. He grew up with abuse and bullying, and had no one to teach him how to handle those feelings. That changed when his Uncle Marvin, a middle school teacher and band leader, tested a curriculum about emotions on him as a teenager. Years later, Brackett was in therapy when he had an epiphany: he would turn those conversations into a formal program. That program, called RULER, has now reached ten million children — and the framework works for adults too.

What emotions actually are

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What you'll learn

1 (00:52) **Meet Mark Brackett and His Mission** - The founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence explains why he studies emotions and how his own difficult childhood led him to create the RULER program, now reaching ten million kids.
2 (04:16) **Emotions vs. Emotional Intelligence** - Brackett draws a clear line between the automatic experience of an emotion and the skill of using that emotion wisely to achieve a better outcome.
3 (06:02) **The Physical Cost of Dysregulation** - Chronic, unmanaged emotional triggers flood the brain with damaging chemicals like cortisol, harming brain health, the immune system, and draining energy.
4 (07:12) **The RULER Framework: Recognizing and Understanding** - The first two letters of the acronym focus on building self-awareness and social awareness by identifying what you are feeling and why.
5 (08:12) **The RULER Framework: Expressing and Regulating** - The final two letters focus on the action and communication strategies needed to manage emotions effectively in real-world interactions.
6 (09:56) **Being a Scientist of Your Own Emotions** - Brackett emphasizes that self-awareness requires constant practice, self-assessment, and a willingness to experiment with new strategies.
7 (10:34) **Why a Male Role Model Matters** - Brackett discusses the cultural norms around men and emotions, and how his work helps normalize emotional conversations, especially for men who are taught to suppress feelings.

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Show Notes

Do you ever feel like your emotions control you instead of you controlling them? Maybe you lash out at someone after a long day at work or indulge to avoid a stressful situation. It’s called emotional dysregulation and don’t worry – we all experience it at some point. Luckily, there’s a better way of dealing with our feelings: building emotional intelligence. That may seem daunting, but Short Wave is here to guide you through everything from understanding the importance of emotions to how we can repair our relationship to them.

Interested in learning more about your brain and your feelings? Email us your question at [email protected]. We might cover it in a future episode!

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