AI Summary
5 min readWhy You’re Making Oral Sex Harder Than It Needs to Be
A 2016 study analyzed data from 884 heterosexual couples and found that both giving and receiving oral sex were positively correlated with feelings of happiness. The biggest happiness bump came from giving, not receiving. That finding sets the stage for Dr. Emily Morse’s episode on 69 and oral sex — a conversation that treats the position not as a fixed, awkward act but as something you can modify, slow down, and actually enjoy.
The 69 Problem: Planking Isn’t Pleasurable
Morse admits she was never a huge fan of 69 until she learned to modify it. The classic depiction — one person on top holding a plank — is physically demanding and makes it hard to focus on either giving or receiving. “I was like, I cannot do both of these things and be sexual,” she says. The fix is the sideways 69: both partners lie on their sides, which eliminates the core workout, accommodates height differences, and makes it easier to take turns. You can also use the position for edging — bringing a partner to the edge of orgasm, then pulling back and demanding pleasure your way instead.
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What you'll learn
- 1 Why You’re Making Oral Sex Harder Than It Needs to Be – Navigation Outline
- 2 (02:36) **The 69 Controversy & Why It’s Worth Revisiting** - Emily introduces the love-it-or-hate-it 69 position and sets up what the episode will cover
- 3 (05:40) **Your Role as the Giver: Start Slow, Use Your Whole Body** - Practical tips for giving oral during 69 when focus is split
- 4 (08:05) **Your Role as the Receiver: Mindful Masturbation to Unlearn Anxiety** - How to get comfortable receiving oral before attempting simultaneous 69
- 5 (10:35) **The Sideways 69: A Game-Changer for Comfort** - The most practical position modification to make 69 actually enjoyable
- 6 (11:57) **The Power 69 & Other Variations** - Face-kneeling and head-off-the-bed positions for more control
- 7 (13:01) **Vibrators & Lube: Your 69 Shortcuts** - Why tools make simultaneous oral easier and more pleasurable
+ Full timestamped outline available in the app
Guests on this episode
Show Notes
Let's talk about 69… because whether you love it, hate it, or have been too intimidated to try it, chances are nobody ever actually taught you how to do it well. In this episode I'm breaking down everything you need to know about giving and receiving oral sex simultaneously, including the modifications that turned me from a 69 skeptic into someone who actually gets it. I'm also answering your oral sex questions, from what to do when size makes a blowjob feel impossible to the listener who discovered the most unexpected erogenous zone of her life mid-session. If you've ever written off 69 or felt like you were doing oral sex wrong, this one is going to change some things for you.
ABOUT EMILY:
Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex.
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