Missionary Isn’t Boring, You’re Just Doing It Wrong

April 21, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

Dr. Emily challenges the view of missionary as basic or dull, showing how it supports intimacy, eye contact, skin-to-skin connection, and slow buildup while allowing easy additions like toys and varied angles. She dispels myths through variations, listener advice, and emphasis on communication, drawing from psychology of presence, growth mindset, and shared exploration.

Missionary's Core Strengths and Variations

Missionary places the penetrating partner on top, enabling face-to-face intimacy that fosters eye contact and kissing. Dr. Emily highlights its versatility: the bottom partner (often vulva owner) can press legs together to engage pelvic floor muscles—key for orgasm—and squeeze the penis for added sensation. Other tweaks include the coital alignment technique (CAT), where the top partner shifts higher for pelvis-to-pelvis rocking, emphasizing up-and-down motion over thrusting to grind the clitoris against the penis base and pubic mound. This indirectly stimulates related nerves, including the G-spot area.

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What you'll learn

1 (00:27) **Introduction to Missionary Position**
2 (03:53) **Benefits and Variations of Missionary**
3 (07:28) **Misconception 1: Missionary is Boring**
4 (09:48) **Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)**
5 (11:01) **Listener Question: Anna on Routine Missionary**
6 (17:11) **Misconception 2: Nothing Kinky About Missionary**
7 (17:33) **Listener Question: Marca on Partner's Desire**

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

I know what you're thinking. Missionary? Really? But hear me out, because I genuinely believe missionary might be the most underrated position in existence, and the reason most people are bored by it has nothing to do with the position itself. It has everything to do with what they're not doing in it.

In this episode, I'm breaking down every missionary myth, sharing the techniques that actually work for clitoral stimulation during penetration, and answering your listener's questions on everything from G-spot orgasms to asking your partner to bend you over the kitchen table.

In this episode, you'll learn:

• Why the porn version of penetrative sex works for only about 30% of vulva owners and what the rest of us actually need to get there, including the CAT technique that makes missionary the best position for clitoral stimulation

• How to tell your partner you want them to dominate you, talk dirty, and bring more intensity to sex without making them feel like they've been doing it wrong this whole time

• Why incorporating a vibrator into partnered sex is one of the best things you can do for your sex life, and how to ask for it even if you're a people pleaser who's spent years putting everyone else's comfort before your own pleasure

This Episode is sponsored by...

Check out Magic Wand at shop.sexwithemily.com/magicwand

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