Can You Love One Person and Still Want Someone Else? | Sex With Emily

August 21, 2026

AI Summary

5 min read

“Eight of you asked about open marriages, polyamory, swapping, threesomes, lifestyle clubs,” Emily says, noting the pattern across 11 pages of audience questions from a single show. She isn’t surprised. The questions reflect a broader cultural shift: people are asking whether they can have both security and novelty, whether they can deeply love one person and still desire others, and whether the rules they inherited about relationships are the only ones available. This episode of Sex With Emily works through the most common questions about non-monogamy—and the real issue underneath them isn’t about structure, but about honesty.

The core question: Can you want more without something being wrong?

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What you'll learn

1 (00:00) **Opening & Shop Plug** - Emily introduces the Sex With Emily product shop, then transitions into the episode's theme: answering audience questions from her "Best Sex Ever" tour.
2 (02:32) **Tour Reflections & Question Themes** - Emily shares observations from the tour, noting a recurring theme around non-monogamy and relationship structure questions.
3 (04:11) **The Big Question: Security vs. Novelty** - Emily frames the cultural moment: people are asking if they can have both commitment and desire for others.
4 (05:59) **Question: Craving Sex with Others While Married** - A listener asks if it's wrong to want sex with other women while having good sex with his wife.
5 (07:24) **Question: Opening a 20-Year Marriage** - A couple asks what conversations and actions to take before opening their relationship.
6 (10:13) **Question: Unequal Experiences in Open Marriage** - Zach, 43, shares that his wife has a boyfriend while he struggles to find connections due to pressure and shame.
7 (12:20) **Big Takeaway: Learn from the Fantasy** - Emily suggests people don't have to act on non-monogamy fantasies to learn from them.

+ Full timestamped outline available in the app

Show Notes

Can you love one person and still want someone else? Are you and your partner actually on the same page about your relationship rules, or just assuming you are? And is porn really the problem it gets blamed for? In this episode, we’re getting into the conversations couples rarely have out loud, because there’s no single “right” way to do a relationship. The goal is getting honest about your desires, your boundaries, and what you’ve actually agreed to together. If you’ve been assuming your partner agrees with you on things you’ve never actually talked about, or wondering whether porn is really the issue in your relationship, this one’s for you. #SexWithEmily #EmilyMorse #Monogamy #RelationshipAdvice #Relationships ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex. CONNECT WITH EMILY: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/ X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/ Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply! This episode is sponsored by: Bellesa: EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE Rose suction toy with their order! https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast Chapters: 00:00 Introduction 00:24 Why Non-Monogamy Is Everywhere Right Now 02:30 How Normal Is Non-Monogamy 04:15 I Crave Sex With Other Women When I Travel for Work 06:30 We've Been Together 20 Years and Want to Open Up 08:45 What to Talk About Before You Open Your Relationship 10:30 First Time Having Sex With a Woman 13:00 Go Slow, Stay Curious, Let Her Teach You 15:00 Why Do Women Get Mad When Men Watch Porn 17:30 When Porn Becomes a Relationship Problem 19:45 What Porn Really Brings Up and How to Talk About It 21:00 The Conversation You've Been Meaning to Have

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