"This Is a Sham Marriage": What to Pray for Your LGBT Family Members | Rosaria Butterfield
September 7, 2026
AI Summary
5 min readRosaria Butterfield, a former lesbian activist and English professor who became a Christian in 1999, joined Allie Beth Stuckey to answer listener questions about how to pray for and relate to family members who identify as LGBTQ. The conversation centered on a single, difficult question: What do you do when someone you love is living in a way the Bible calls sin, and you cannot see a way out for them? Butterfield’s answer was not a technique or a script, but a set of theological commitments about prayer, truth, love, and the nature of repentance.
The Prayer That Destroys Sham Marriages
Butterfield addressed a listener whose nephew is in a same-sex marriage and lives far away. Her first instruction was to affirm love for the prodigal in every possible way. The second was to pray—but not the kind of prayer that merely asks for peace or comfort. Butterfield was blunt: “This is a sham marriage. There is no such thing as a gay marriage. And so what you're going to do is pray that the Lord would destroy that.” She clarified that this prayer is not for the Thanksgiving table; it is a private petition to the throne of grace. The reason, she explained, is that the nephew is not loving the man he claims to love; he is “searing his soul.” The prayer asks God to remove all unholy influences from his life.
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:28) **Listener Voicemail #1: Praying for a Gay Nephew** - A caller asks how to love and minister to a nephew who "married" a man and lives far away.
- 2 (05:22) **The "Impossible" Case: Long-Standing Same-Sex Relationships** - Allie Beth confesses her doubt that someone deeply intertwined in a homosexual relationship (with kids, a home) could ever fully repent and leave.
- 3 (11:27) **Listener Voicemail #2: Navigating a Transgender Niece and an "Ally" Brother** - A caller struggles with using a niece's new name/pronouns and avoiding conflict with her brother, who is an ally.
- 4 (18:11) **Upcoming Book for Families of LGBTQ Prodigals** - Rosaria discusses her work-in-progress, a book of six biblical principles for families to stay the course as a lifeline for their prodigal.
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Guests on this episode
Show Notes
Allie has a lively discussion with Rosaria Butterfield, a former “lesbian” turned Christian apologist and Share the Arrows speaker! Rosaria reacts to clips and viewer questions revolving around how Christians should treat those who suffer from same-sex attraction, dispensing advice with her trademark tough love. This is a must-watch for anyone preparing to attend Share the Arrows! Do you have a question for Allie? Leave a voicemail at 844-755-5252 Share the Arrows 2026 is on October 10 in Dallas, Texas! Tickets are on sale now at: https://sharethearrows.com Share the Arrows is sponsored by: A'del Natural Cosmetics: AdelNaturalCosmetics.com Range Leather: RangeLeather.com/ALLIE We Heart Nutrition: WeHeartNutrition.com Buy Allie's book "Toxic Empathy: How Progressives Exploit Christian Compassion": https://www.toxicempathy.com #rosariabutterfield #sharethearrows #lgbt #alliebethstuckey #relatable #religion #christianity #christian #bible #theology --- ► Buy Allie's book, "You're Not Enough (& That's Okay): Escaping the Toxic Culture of Self-Love": https://alliebethstuckey.com/book ► Subscribe to the podcast: iTunes: https://apple.co/2UVssnP Spotify: https://spoti.fi/2FwkXxj ► Connect with Allie on Social Media: https://twitter.com/conservmillen https://www.instagram.com/alliebstuckey/ https://facebook.com/allieBlazeTV/ ► Relatable merchandise – use promo code 'ALLIE10' for a discount: https://shop.blazemedia.com/collections/allie-stuckey
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