AI Summary
5 min readEvery marriage is either growing together or growing apart—it never stands still. That is the central claim Rick Warren makes in this episode, and he builds a practical case around it. Drawing from a letter to Dear Abby and a Readers Digest report, he notes that the most common question marriage counselors hear is, “Why don’t we love each other the way we used to?” His answer is not sentimental. It is that marriages require intentional skill, knowledge, and effort. Proverbs 24:3 and Philippians 1:9 provide the framework: wisdom, understanding, knowledge, and insight are the foundations of a growing relationship.
Keep Paying Attention
Warren’s first principle is that attention equals love. When you give someone your attention, you are giving them your time, and your time is your life. He points out that this is how people fall in love in the first place—by paying attention to each other. The problem is that attention naturally wears off. After marriage, attention shifts to bills, babies, careers, and hobbies. The spouse is no longer the focal point.
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What you'll learn
- 1 (00:02) **Introduction: The Problem of Stale Marriages** - Rick Warren introduces the episode by reading a letter to Dear Abby about a marriage that has gone stale, and notes the number one question marriage counselors hear is "Why don't we love each other the way we used to?"
- 2 (03:27) **First Insight: Keep on Paying Attention** - The first of five insights for a growing marriage is introduced: intentionally paying attention to your spouse.
- 3 (13:13) **The Problem of Not Listening** - A major barrier to paying attention is the failure to truly listen to one's spouse.
- 4 (16:35) **Second Insight: Keep on Making Adjustments** - The second insight focuses on the necessity of ongoing adjustments in a marriage as circumstances change.
- 5 (21:26) **The One Decision That Changes Everything** - The key to making adjustments is summarized in a single, overarching principle.
- 6 (22:26) **Third Insight: Keep on Showing Affection** - The third insight addresses how to rekindle lost romantic feelings and affection.
- 7 (27:37) **Conclusion and Ministry Appeal** - The message concludes with a brief summary, followed by an appeal from Pastor Rick to become a "Partner in Hope" to support the global reach of the Daily Hope ministry.
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Guests on this episode
Show Notes
God wants to grow your marriage—and you. Join Pastor Rick as he explains the reasons you need to keep paying attention to your spouse, for their benefit and for yours.
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