How to Get a Marriage Makeover — Part 3

Rick Warren opens this message with a blunt admission: he and his wife Kay were once "about that far away from a divorce." They were in what he calls "marital hell." The confession is not dramatic flourish — it anchors everything that follows. Warren is not speaking from theory. He is speaking from survival.

The episode walks through an A-B-C-D-E framework for what Warren calls a "marriage makeover," but the real argument is simpler and harder: you cannot fix your marriage by waiting for your spouse to change. The only place to start is with yourself.

Tackle one problem at a time

Warren's first piece of practical advice comes from 28 years of his own marriage: do not try to solve everything at once. He recommends identifying the easiest problem in the marriage and solving that one first. Then the next easiest. Then the next. The goal is to get "some wins under your belt" before attempting the moderate problems, and certainly before tackling the biggest ones.

This is not just strategy — it is psychology. Small successes build momentum and, more importantly, build willingness to accept responsibility. Warren is clear that accepting responsibility is the foundation. Without it, nothing else works.

Believe, commit, and deal with hurt